3/8/09
Where’s ‘MY MISSY ? The Search CONTINUES
Hey folks ! I’ve mentioned Missy (or Melissa) previously in a message some time ago & also in last week’s message (without naming names) & NOW it is time to become more direct & straightforward.
I knew MISSY during high school & we had a romantic relationship for a while which was interrupted & essentially terminated for the last 24 years when I got caught by her mom with Missy in Missy’s downstairs bedroom late at night back during the 1984-95 school year. Actually I got caught UNDER Missy’s bed by Missy’s mom who apparently heard us come in or heard us whispering in the bedroom below them.
To this day, I can’t figure out why I listened to Missy encouraging me to “come in” that dark night after we sat by the train tracks near their home on Grand River Drive in Ada, Michigan. It was a foolish thing to do.
Up until that time our relationship had been great & I respected her & we had intimate moments but there were limits that we both respected. I meant to sustain those limits knowing it would be even more foolhardy to go beyond those limits at such a young age.
And I believed in retrospect that had we not been caught by Missy’s mom those limits STILL would have been maintained. I respected Missy too much to go beyond those limits & I knew she respected me too.
Given such, what MISSY’s mom discovered was actually nothing more than TWO COVENANT KIDS being mischievous down below Missy’s mom & dad (whom I never met).
Nonetheless, Missy’s mom must have imagined the WORST and probably only assumed one possible outcome—that her little Missy would become pregnant. Thus, as Missy’s mom walked down the stairs apparently already positive that there was a “guy” down below with her little missy I am sure this “guy” loomed like a big bad boy in her mind.
Missy apparently heard her coming and whispered to me “Get under the bed !” I frantically fell off the bed and rolled underneath. Missy tried to quickly smooth the blankets out & then suddenly the lights came on & I could see the feet of Missy’s mom. Missy weakly said, “Hi mom, what’s the matter?” I remember every single moment as if it happened yesterday. My heart was beating so loud it probably led Missy’s mom right to me.
Suddenly, the face of Missy’s mom appeared, & she stared directly into my eyes with a GLARE that could have killed me. “GET UP !” she ordered. And then “GET OUT !” There was NO UNCERTAINTY nor any equivocation on the part of Missy’s mom.
In retrospect I wish Missy’s mom could have LAUGHED or fake laughed about it & been a little nicer & politely but firmly conversed with us about why it was FOOLISH for us to be in bed together as mere seniors in high school.
In retrospect, I wish Missy’s mom could have taken a moment to PRAY with us while also counseling us as to why we were TOO YOUNG to be in bed together & as Christian kids from the Christian school should be a little wiser.
In retrospect I wish I could have told Missy’s mom that Missy & I RESPECTED each other & that we had already established “limits” in our intimacy while also acknowledging that it was STUPID for us to be in bed together at her parent’s home that night.
But NONE of that happened & I did what any 17 or 18 year old high school kid would do. I grabbed my jacket and RAN out the door, without looking back.
And I was SO ASHAMED & embarrassed about that moment being that I was a “Christian” kid from “Christian High” & being that I was a “preacher’s kid” & supposed to be good & smart & go on to a good college that I NEVER MENTIONED this MOMENT to anybody, not even my closest friends.
Furthermore, my relationship with Missy ended for the time being. It was as if suddenly the trauma of the moment prevented me from even being able to talk with Missy again, for the time being.
Time went by. I didn’t see Missy much at school if at all. We didn’t have any of the same classes. And my parents were living in California by that time so during the holidays I went back out to the west coast.
Then, that summer—the summer of ’85 after I had just graduated from high school I was working at Knotts Berry Farm & suddenly Missy appeared ! But she was with her mom & her sister. First they had driven to Salt Lake City for a music festival, and then they decided to drive to California—just to see me ? I don’t know . I hope not. Because I STILL could not talk to Missy and especially NOT to Missy’s mom. Somehow they found me at Knotts Berry Farm but the moment was brief—and it was NOT a moment of reconciliation, that was for sure.
So time continued to go by & I went to Calvin College & Missy went somewhere else (I’m not sure, maybe Western Michigan ?) She was musically gifted as I recall, but I don’t know if she kept pursuing music.
Time went by quickly & I graduated from Calvin College for the first time in 1989 with a BA in psychology. I still hadn’t seen Missy nor reconciled with her mom. I worked at Pine Rest for a year as a mental health worker. Then I went to law school at Wayne State University. I became depressed before the first semester ended & realized the study of law was NOT for me & left Wayne State.
I passed thru Grand Rapids & talked to a few friends, including Doug Kosters & then I headed west to California. A month later I got a call informing me that Doug Kosters had commit suicide. I flew back for the funeral & then returned to California.
I didn’t do too much for the next few weeks until suddenly there was an earthquake in Costa Rica & I volunteered to do disaster relief. I flew to Costa Rica & worked with some fellows from the Christian Reformed Church (CRC) to help the earthquake victims. Then lo & behold a fellow offered me a job teaching his kids down in the rainforest where he owned a tourist camp. So I taught his two kids in a tiny little schoolroom he build for them until the end of that summer—the summer of ’91.
Returning to the STATES I planned to go to seminary at Calvin & drove back there—STILL in all this time to make a long story short I had not seen or heard from Missy & I believe God kept her out of my mind for the time being so I would not fret. I had various other relationships, mostly brief, which came to NO long-lasting fruition.
And then I did a summer mission in the Philippines (’92) and switched from Calvin Seminary back to the college for a second bachelors degree. I decided to try teaching instead—thinking I could be a “missionary teacher”, maybe in China—like my friend Audrey van oen did.
Two years back at Calvin from ’92-94 & I believe it was during this period that my friend Jack suddenly told me that Missy wanted to see me. I had NO IDEA that she was even around Grand Rapids anymore nor what she was doing.
She apparently was working at a clothes store at Woodland Mall & so Jack & I drove there and went to a nearby restaurant as she was leaving work.
In retrospect, I realize that GOD had put a veil over my eyes & maybe my heart for the time being. In fact I don’t think I really knew WHICH WAY WAS UP at the time I met with Jack & Missy. I was just focused on getting this education finished & moving on.
So we sat down to eat & Missy says some things about getting married. Apparently she was engaged or close to being engaged to some fellow but the GIST of the conversation was that she was NOT exactly sure if this fellow was the right fellow. In retrospect I realize that is EXACTLY what she was saying to me & wanted to see if I had any feelings for her.
And I DID have feelings for her, but they were BURIED DEEP DOWN somewhere in a part of me that I had almost lost ! And I couldn’t get those feelings to come up and reveal themselves at the moment. Maybe it was God saying “It’s still too soon.” Maybe it was just me .
We did NOT stay at that restaurant for very long. I don’t remember saying much of anything, if anything. Jack was there, although he excused himself a few times, but Jack had not given me any premonition of what to expect. In fact, I don’t even know if Missy had told Jack about the bedroom incident. If she had, Jack kept a poker face about it & never mentioned anything.
And that was it, nothing more for the moment. We all walked out. Missy went her way. Maybe I had driven alone & Jack had met me there in his car. I can’t even remember. I can’t remember what I felt at the moment, if anything. In fact I wonder if I was able to even feel anything during those years.
I got my teaching degree—and left Grand Rapids and spent a summer in Jackson Wyoming & was about to go to Hungary when I got a call from Jim Zoetewey (now the late Jim Zoetewey) telling me there was a teaching job available at the school he was teaching at in Coachella valley. I had never been there before. I really wanted to be a “missionary teacher” but at the same time I was stuck with student loan debt which would be nice to get off my back by teaching for a few years at a decent paying job in the states. So I accepted a job there and taught for two years.
Then I returned to Grand Rapids and this time I stuck with my conviction to go to seminary. I did a year at Calvin Seminary and then several more at Fuller Seminary back out in Pasadena (CA).
By that time I was starting to slowly WAKE UP , and was more aware of what was happening around me. I knew Missy was married by that time—simply by checking the high school directory. I noticed she was living in Muskegon & as I was starting my ministry I started to send out Bibles & little inspirational gifts—NOT only to Missy but to a lot of people I knew somewhere along the way as well as people I did not know. It was part of doing ministry and reaching out to people.
Then most recently as some of you might know from the message a few weeks ago, my good ol’ friend Rick Byle died & I responded with condolences & posted a few words on the online obituary section in the Grand Rapids Press.
In the process I noticed Rick’s girlfriend, Liz, from the time I lived with Rick for a semester had also posted her condolences & suddenly I connected with her by email! Liz is one of the few people who knew about me being CAUGHT by MISSY’s MOM in MISSY’s BEDROOM & we discussed it by e-mail. She was very gracious about it & did not condemn me. She was accepting of me & had fond memories of me, as best as I could tell.
And suddenly a part of me that I had forgotten was awoken. Liz also knew Missy from around the time we were in a relationship & we had “double dated” a few times & so I ASKED LIZ, “How is Missy ? I miss her so much !” Liz responded very congenially and was suddenly the NICEST person in the world to me. It felt so good.
Liz told me that she thinks “my Missy” had gotten divorced after discovering her husband had been unfaithful to her. Liz did NOT know much more than that but suddenly my mind was racing !
First, I felt sympathy for Missy because once she got married I respected her vow & commitment & all I ever did was send Christian material reminding her of my presence & my faith (which was her faith as well) and hoped it helped her.
Second, I thought is this the time to TALK to Missy—finally after all these years now that I got my head together so to speak ?!
I wondered where she was but LIZ did not know for sure. I found a po box online and tried sending her a card but it was returned as “wrong address.” I sent a letter to Missy’s mom, Connie, but she did not respond.
I asked Liz who knows a lot of people if she could in ANY WAY help to locate Missy. And she said she would try to help. We kept e-mailing each other and updating each other about our lives. Liz was now married and had two kids & a lot of the Christian school kids I knew from growing up were also married with kids in her same neighborhood with kids at the same school. It was FUN reminiscing.
But so far as of March 14, 2009 I still do NOT know where “MY MISSY” is, nor if I do find her whether she has any feelings for me left in her heart. I HOPE SO. But if not, I will respect her if she tells me frankly, “NO, I don’t care about you anymore.” I just need to hear it one way or another, & hope for the best.
I really truly care for Missy & want to see her and talk to her and look in her eyes, but so far I haven’t found her & I am not able to call her mom. There’s that “MENTAL BLOCK” popping up again. Her mom represents danger to me, even though I should know & understand that she was doing what she thought was best for Missy that night when she said “Get up, get out! “
I don’t know if I can ever call her on the phone and talk with Missy’s mom & I know nothing about her dad. I asked Liz to call and & she said she tried once but no answer. Then Liz said she contacted a friend who said she would start looking once spring break began around April 3. It seems so far away, when Missy could be SO CLOSE. Will I ever see Missy again and be able to look in her eyes and feel her heartbeat ? I hope & pray so. Only God knows for sure.
Am I being foolish again, acting like I’m still in high school, motivated by emotions & hormones alone ? I don’t think so. I think there was something DEEPER to our relationship. God only knows for sure.
But somebody knows, in addition to God, where MISSY is right now & will I ever find out myself ? Once again, God only knows. I can only wait & hope & pray.
Liz has been so helpful to me & I am eternally grateful to her. God bless her.
The MISSY SEARCH continues… stay tuned to find out what happens, if anything. Or, if any of you can help, write “contact me” in the subject line & we can go from there.
GOD BE WITH YOU ALL
JOHN PHILIP A. vander KOK
CHRISTIAN EVANGELIST
KEEP the FAITH I! it's about FAITH, ABOUT GOD, JESUS, HOLY SPIRIT, LOVE ..peace, joy, kindness, care, happiness.. about doing what's right.. treating others better than yourself, about servant leadership, .. it's about hoping for the best from others, even when we live in a world with too much anger and mistreatment of others.. KEEP HOPING for the BEST from others..and DO UNTO OTHERS AS u would HOPE they do UNTO U..
Monday, March 30, 2009
IN MEMORY of RICK BYLE (1967-Feb,2009)
+Jack+Rick+Cottage+Lake+Michigan+College.jpg)
ME, RICK BYLE, & Doug Kosters, Spring Break, Florida
Here's RICK & Steve Korhorn on the Beach in Florida
MY LETTER TO MISSY by vanderKOK
Dear Melissa, March 26, 2009
Hello, how are you, the person I always cared for & still do?
I. re RECENT EVENTS :
Missy, I am writing to you now, the FIRST MOMENT possible since finding out where you potentially may be. I have been trying to write to you, or send a card to you, or stay in touch with you by mail over the years thinking you have been married all this time. In fact, the few times that I managed to drive through Michigan over the past few years I also tried to drive past your house in Muskegon, or at least wherever I thought you might live. I even dropped a Bible in your mailbox one time may years ago as I was starting my ministry. I hope you UNDERSTAND why I have TRIED to keep in touch. I have ALWAYS CARED about you & for you.
When we met WAY BACK in high school 25 YEARS AGO I immediately liked you & we immediately had a mutual attraction to each other, at least I thought so. We were YOUNG & we were enjoying each other’s company SO MUCH. I remember SO MANY GOOD TIMES with you: At the beach, in the car, double dating, out-and-about, with other friends too. We had the BEST OF TIMES !
1. LOSS OF A FRIEND: Rick Byle
Do you remember some of the friends we had ? How about Rick Byle ? Well, unfortunately, I regret to inform you (if you have not recently heard) that Rick died in a snowmobile accident just last month (Feb, 2009). In fact, it was because of Rick’s death that I noticed a few entries on his online obituary in the Grand Rapids Press & one of them was from LDM. Do you remember her ?
2. CONNECTING with LDM & ASKING HOW IS MISSY
Well, I exchanged a few emails with LDM and the FIRST THING I asked her even before we talked about Rick Byle was HOW IS MISSY ?! And after Rick’s funeral in Michigan (which I was NOT able to attend because I’m still in California & it just was not possible to go there) LDM responded to me and said she “thought” she heard you were divorced. I COULDN’T BELIEVE it. LDM did NOT know any more details than that—and didn’t even know for sure where you are now.
For the past few month I kept ASKING LDM by e-mail if she knew WHERE YOU ARE and she said she would try to find out but the only number she knew turned out to be your grandmother who gave her a phone number to try that was disconnected. Then LDM tried calling Amy & Amy said she would try to find out but as of March 24 I still did NOT have any better idea.
So I finally asked somebody I knew who knows how to locate people to try to FIND YOU FOR ME and this person said that she THOUGHT you MIGHT be living in Ohio with your sister Cindy. And this person gave me a few POSSIBLE addresses where I might be able to reach you.
II WHY IT IS SO IMPORTANT for me to REACH YOU
Missy, remember back to our HIGH SCHOOL DAYS & the GOOD TIMES we had together. Do you remember HOW MUCH FUN we had—the laughter & the conversation & the affection we had for each other ? I REMEMBER THOSE DAYS FONDLY & I always remembered you fondly. We had a GREAT RELATIONSHIP up until that ONE FATEFUL NIGHT when I drove you home from a night out—and after sitting in the car for a while I drove up the driveway and one thing led to another and I was going into your house, down the stairs, & into the bedroom with you. DO YOU REMEMBER ? Of course you do ! Who could forget that FATEFUL MOMENT ?
Before re-telling what happened next let me TELL YOU HOW MUCH I RESPECTED YOU and what it meant for me to be with you. You know as well as I know that we had some intimate moments but we NEVER WENT TOO FAR and I believe both of us respected those limits knowing we were TOO YOUNG at the time to go too far. And even being in your bedroom I would have RESPECTED those limits & I KNEW, intuitively, that you did too.
This is WHY I now look back on that MOMENT as a SPIRITUAL MOMENT—somehow arranged by GOD that neither of us understood at the time as such, and maybe still NOT FULLY to this day, but I am becoming convinced of it, more & more, all the time. I’m sure you are familiar with Romeo & Juliet---and thankfully we are, or were, NOT as tragic as them, and thankfully you are STILL ALIVE despite some hardships & difficult times. Likewise, I am STILL ALIVE despite some hardships & difficult times.
Today, I can now speak of “THE NIGHT” but immediately after that particular evening I was very embarrassed all the more so because of the way your mother seemed to think I was a bad person (or so I thought). And I NEVER TOLD anybody about that night, until recently. Actually, I asked LDM if she knew what happened and I was surprised when she immediately remembered. And we did NOT speak the rest of that school year—perhaps you were embarrassed too, & then after high school I returned to California.
I remember being SO SURPRISED when you suddenly showed up at KNOTTS BERRY FARM with your mom & your sister (Cindy ?) and I was STILL TOO EMBARRASSED to talk with you, at least with your mom being there, & I am SORRY that I did not do so at the time. I TRULY did NOT know how to respond to, or resolve, the events that took place that night & so I just went SILENT, so to speak, & tried to DISTANCE MYSELF NOT from you but from that particular night.
And then I went to college, not just Calvin College, but a few semesters at other colleges, including Hawaii & Spain, & I also did some short-term mission work including Costa Rica & Philippines, & eventually ended up back Grand Rapids for more education at Calvin College from 1992 to 1994. At that point I had NO IDEA where you were & figured you had FORGOTTEN ABOUT ME.
III. AT the RESTAURANT by WOODLAND MALL
And so I was TAKEN COMPLETELY BY SURPRISE when suddenly JACK HOLWERDA came to me and told me you wanted to MEET WITH ME. I was so excited to see you again, but he didn’t give me any idea what it was about, NOR did he inform you that MY MIND by that time was FAR AWAY from Grand Rapids & ready to get out of there again. I had NO REAL EMOTIONAL support in Grand Rapids anymore and was looking forward to completing my teaching degree & possibly going off to another country again.
WHEN I MET WITH YOU sometime in 1994 (??) I believe you were about ready to get married but you came to me with UTMOST SINCERITY I REALIZE NOW IN RETROSPECT and you were TRYING TO TELL ME that you STILL cared about me. And MISSY, PLEASE BELIEVE that I STILL CARED about you & always did, but at the time I was EMOTIONALLY FLAT & was NO LONGER in touch with my feelings toward you or anybody else. I had been through a few things myself at the time. Also, it would have BEEN BETTER if Jack had left us alone for a while.
And so it has been FIFTEEN YEARS since we had that very brief get together with Jack listening in and after leaving our little get together at the restaurant by Woodland Mall I finished my second bachelor’s degree & got my teaching degree & taught school for a few years here in California & YOU apparently went ahead and got married.
IV. TRAVELING WITH LOLA MY GOLDEN
FOR FOURTEEN YEARS
After TEACHING I left education & decided to go back for MY MASTERS-in-DIVINITY and ended up back in Grand Rapids for another year (1996-97), this time at Calvin Seminary, and then the next four or five years I spent at FULLER SEMINARY in Pasadena, California and have stayed around Southern California ever since then, while also traveling on a regular basis, especially with LOLA MY GOLDEN RETRIEVER for fourteen years until June of 2007 when she passed away.
V. DOING CHRISTIAN EVANGELISM,
& INSPIRATIONAL FILM
Also, while going through Fuller Seminary I started my own ministry, Mustard Seed Ministries & did a lot of traveling & street evangelism as well as FILMING & creating (or trying to) inspirational films and that is what I continue to do at the moment while also helping occasionally in public education.
VI MY RELATIONSHIPS & MY CURRENT STATUS
I’ve had a few relationships over the years, mostly brief & ending due to various circumstances, most of which had to do with logistics or unexpected circumstances but I REALIZE NOW that actually there was something either PSYCHOLOGICAL or SPIRITUAL happening that prevented me from maintaining meaningful relationships with any of these girls or starting new ones because I had NOT PROPERLY RESOLVED my relationship with YOU ! Our relationship had suddenly terminated under somewhat traumatic circumstances & it was NEVER PROPERLY RESOLVED and discussed, nor truly had the chance to resume under proper circumstances.
VII IS THIS THE TIME to MEET or CHAT & BE RECONCILED ?
And NOW IS OUR CHANCE to at least TALK with each other and FOR ME to do the right thing and address what happened & to be a gentleman & stand up for you, & to do what is right & be a good, Christian person as well as loving, human person. And I still have FEELINGS for you, & CARE for you, & ALWAYS DID ! Can we FINALLY MEET TOGETHER without any distractions? Or at least chat by e-mail at first ?
There are NO EXPECTATIONS . I have NO IDEA how you are feeling & doing EMOTIONALLY or SPIRITUALLY . All I heard is that you might have gotten divorced, but nobody really seems to know anything else or even if that is true. BELIEVE ME I am not judgmental & believe that whatever might have happened it certainly happened for a reason. Sometimes things change for a reason. You may feel hurt, you may feel relieved, you may feel free. You may feel confused. You may feel again or young again, or you may feel old. If you had children with this man maybe you have some feelings in regard to the children.
I DO NOT know how you are feeling or even if you have another relationship with somebody. ALL I KNOW is that I want to get together with you or at least, at first, chat by email or otherwise. DO YOU USE E-MAIL ? If so can you e-mail me at vanderKOK@GMAIL.com ? Or can you call me at 323-244-9883 ?
It is NOW MARCH of 2009 almost APRIL . Will we EVER SEE EACHOTHER or TALK to EACHOTHER again ? I HOPE SO. I PRAY SO. Please, MISSY, now is the time. I am HERE !
YOUR TRUE FRIEND FOREVER
(John) Philip A. (vander) KOK
Missy, I often go by “John” now and have also added “vander” to my name because of the culture here in Los Angeles.
Hello, how are you, the person I always cared for & still do?
I. re RECENT EVENTS :
Missy, I am writing to you now, the FIRST MOMENT possible since finding out where you potentially may be. I have been trying to write to you, or send a card to you, or stay in touch with you by mail over the years thinking you have been married all this time. In fact, the few times that I managed to drive through Michigan over the past few years I also tried to drive past your house in Muskegon, or at least wherever I thought you might live. I even dropped a Bible in your mailbox one time may years ago as I was starting my ministry. I hope you UNDERSTAND why I have TRIED to keep in touch. I have ALWAYS CARED about you & for you.
When we met WAY BACK in high school 25 YEARS AGO I immediately liked you & we immediately had a mutual attraction to each other, at least I thought so. We were YOUNG & we were enjoying each other’s company SO MUCH. I remember SO MANY GOOD TIMES with you: At the beach, in the car, double dating, out-and-about, with other friends too. We had the BEST OF TIMES !
1. LOSS OF A FRIEND: Rick Byle
Do you remember some of the friends we had ? How about Rick Byle ? Well, unfortunately, I regret to inform you (if you have not recently heard) that Rick died in a snowmobile accident just last month (Feb, 2009). In fact, it was because of Rick’s death that I noticed a few entries on his online obituary in the Grand Rapids Press & one of them was from LDM. Do you remember her ?
2. CONNECTING with LDM & ASKING HOW IS MISSY
Well, I exchanged a few emails with LDM and the FIRST THING I asked her even before we talked about Rick Byle was HOW IS MISSY ?! And after Rick’s funeral in Michigan (which I was NOT able to attend because I’m still in California & it just was not possible to go there) LDM responded to me and said she “thought” she heard you were divorced. I COULDN’T BELIEVE it. LDM did NOT know any more details than that—and didn’t even know for sure where you are now.
For the past few month I kept ASKING LDM by e-mail if she knew WHERE YOU ARE and she said she would try to find out but the only number she knew turned out to be your grandmother who gave her a phone number to try that was disconnected. Then LDM tried calling Amy & Amy said she would try to find out but as of March 24 I still did NOT have any better idea.
So I finally asked somebody I knew who knows how to locate people to try to FIND YOU FOR ME and this person said that she THOUGHT you MIGHT be living in Ohio with your sister Cindy. And this person gave me a few POSSIBLE addresses where I might be able to reach you.
II WHY IT IS SO IMPORTANT for me to REACH YOU
Missy, remember back to our HIGH SCHOOL DAYS & the GOOD TIMES we had together. Do you remember HOW MUCH FUN we had—the laughter & the conversation & the affection we had for each other ? I REMEMBER THOSE DAYS FONDLY & I always remembered you fondly. We had a GREAT RELATIONSHIP up until that ONE FATEFUL NIGHT when I drove you home from a night out—and after sitting in the car for a while I drove up the driveway and one thing led to another and I was going into your house, down the stairs, & into the bedroom with you. DO YOU REMEMBER ? Of course you do ! Who could forget that FATEFUL MOMENT ?
Before re-telling what happened next let me TELL YOU HOW MUCH I RESPECTED YOU and what it meant for me to be with you. You know as well as I know that we had some intimate moments but we NEVER WENT TOO FAR and I believe both of us respected those limits knowing we were TOO YOUNG at the time to go too far. And even being in your bedroom I would have RESPECTED those limits & I KNEW, intuitively, that you did too.
This is WHY I now look back on that MOMENT as a SPIRITUAL MOMENT—somehow arranged by GOD that neither of us understood at the time as such, and maybe still NOT FULLY to this day, but I am becoming convinced of it, more & more, all the time. I’m sure you are familiar with Romeo & Juliet---and thankfully we are, or were, NOT as tragic as them, and thankfully you are STILL ALIVE despite some hardships & difficult times. Likewise, I am STILL ALIVE despite some hardships & difficult times.
Today, I can now speak of “THE NIGHT” but immediately after that particular evening I was very embarrassed all the more so because of the way your mother seemed to think I was a bad person (or so I thought). And I NEVER TOLD anybody about that night, until recently. Actually, I asked LDM if she knew what happened and I was surprised when she immediately remembered. And we did NOT speak the rest of that school year—perhaps you were embarrassed too, & then after high school I returned to California.
I remember being SO SURPRISED when you suddenly showed up at KNOTTS BERRY FARM with your mom & your sister (Cindy ?) and I was STILL TOO EMBARRASSED to talk with you, at least with your mom being there, & I am SORRY that I did not do so at the time. I TRULY did NOT know how to respond to, or resolve, the events that took place that night & so I just went SILENT, so to speak, & tried to DISTANCE MYSELF NOT from you but from that particular night.
And then I went to college, not just Calvin College, but a few semesters at other colleges, including Hawaii & Spain, & I also did some short-term mission work including Costa Rica & Philippines, & eventually ended up back Grand Rapids for more education at Calvin College from 1992 to 1994. At that point I had NO IDEA where you were & figured you had FORGOTTEN ABOUT ME.
III. AT the RESTAURANT by WOODLAND MALL
And so I was TAKEN COMPLETELY BY SURPRISE when suddenly JACK HOLWERDA came to me and told me you wanted to MEET WITH ME. I was so excited to see you again, but he didn’t give me any idea what it was about, NOR did he inform you that MY MIND by that time was FAR AWAY from Grand Rapids & ready to get out of there again. I had NO REAL EMOTIONAL support in Grand Rapids anymore and was looking forward to completing my teaching degree & possibly going off to another country again.
WHEN I MET WITH YOU sometime in 1994 (??) I believe you were about ready to get married but you came to me with UTMOST SINCERITY I REALIZE NOW IN RETROSPECT and you were TRYING TO TELL ME that you STILL cared about me. And MISSY, PLEASE BELIEVE that I STILL CARED about you & always did, but at the time I was EMOTIONALLY FLAT & was NO LONGER in touch with my feelings toward you or anybody else. I had been through a few things myself at the time. Also, it would have BEEN BETTER if Jack had left us alone for a while.
And so it has been FIFTEEN YEARS since we had that very brief get together with Jack listening in and after leaving our little get together at the restaurant by Woodland Mall I finished my second bachelor’s degree & got my teaching degree & taught school for a few years here in California & YOU apparently went ahead and got married.
IV. TRAVELING WITH LOLA MY GOLDEN
FOR FOURTEEN YEARS
After TEACHING I left education & decided to go back for MY MASTERS-in-DIVINITY and ended up back in Grand Rapids for another year (1996-97), this time at Calvin Seminary, and then the next four or five years I spent at FULLER SEMINARY in Pasadena, California and have stayed around Southern California ever since then, while also traveling on a regular basis, especially with LOLA MY GOLDEN RETRIEVER for fourteen years until June of 2007 when she passed away.
V. DOING CHRISTIAN EVANGELISM,
& INSPIRATIONAL FILM
Also, while going through Fuller Seminary I started my own ministry, Mustard Seed Ministries & did a lot of traveling & street evangelism as well as FILMING & creating (or trying to) inspirational films and that is what I continue to do at the moment while also helping occasionally in public education.
VI MY RELATIONSHIPS & MY CURRENT STATUS
I’ve had a few relationships over the years, mostly brief & ending due to various circumstances, most of which had to do with logistics or unexpected circumstances but I REALIZE NOW that actually there was something either PSYCHOLOGICAL or SPIRITUAL happening that prevented me from maintaining meaningful relationships with any of these girls or starting new ones because I had NOT PROPERLY RESOLVED my relationship with YOU ! Our relationship had suddenly terminated under somewhat traumatic circumstances & it was NEVER PROPERLY RESOLVED and discussed, nor truly had the chance to resume under proper circumstances.
VII IS THIS THE TIME to MEET or CHAT & BE RECONCILED ?
And NOW IS OUR CHANCE to at least TALK with each other and FOR ME to do the right thing and address what happened & to be a gentleman & stand up for you, & to do what is right & be a good, Christian person as well as loving, human person. And I still have FEELINGS for you, & CARE for you, & ALWAYS DID ! Can we FINALLY MEET TOGETHER without any distractions? Or at least chat by e-mail at first ?
There are NO EXPECTATIONS . I have NO IDEA how you are feeling & doing EMOTIONALLY or SPIRITUALLY . All I heard is that you might have gotten divorced, but nobody really seems to know anything else or even if that is true. BELIEVE ME I am not judgmental & believe that whatever might have happened it certainly happened for a reason. Sometimes things change for a reason. You may feel hurt, you may feel relieved, you may feel free. You may feel confused. You may feel again or young again, or you may feel old. If you had children with this man maybe you have some feelings in regard to the children.
I DO NOT know how you are feeling or even if you have another relationship with somebody. ALL I KNOW is that I want to get together with you or at least, at first, chat by email or otherwise. DO YOU USE E-MAIL ? If so can you e-mail me at vanderKOK@GMAIL.com ? Or can you call me at 323-244-9883 ?
It is NOW MARCH of 2009 almost APRIL . Will we EVER SEE EACHOTHER or TALK to EACHOTHER again ? I HOPE SO. I PRAY SO. Please, MISSY, now is the time. I am HERE !
YOUR TRUE FRIEND FOREVER
(John) Philip A. (vander) KOK
Missy, I often go by “John” now and have also added “vander” to my name because of the culture here in Los Angeles.
MY LETTER TO MISSY by vanderKOK
Dear Melissa, March 26, 2009
Hello, how are you, the person I always cared for & still do?
I. re RECENT EVENTS :
Missy, I am writing to you now, the FIRST MOMENT possible since finding out where you potentially may be. I have been trying to write to you, or send a card to you, or stay in touch with you by mail over the years thinking you have been married all this time. In fact, the few times that I managed to drive through Michigan over the past few years I also tried to drive past your house in Muskegon, or at least wherever I thought you might live. I even dropped a Bible in your mailbox one time may years ago as I was starting my ministry. I hope you UNDERSTAND why I have TRIED to keep in touch. I have ALWAYS CARED about you & for you.
When we met WAY BACK in high school 25 YEARS AGO I immediately liked you & we immediately had a mutual attraction to each other, at least I thought so. We were YOUNG & we were enjoying each other’s company SO MUCH. I remember SO MANY GOOD TIMES with you: At the beach, in the car, double dating, out-and-about, with other friends too. We had the BEST OF TIMES !
1. LOSS OF A FRIEND: Rick Byle
Do you remember some of the friends we had ? How about Rick Byle ? Well, unfortunately, I regret to inform you (if you have not recently heard) that Rick died in a snowmobile accident just last month (Feb, 2009). In fact, it was because of Rick’s death that I noticed a few entries on his online obituary in the Grand Rapids Press & one of them was from LDM. Do you remember her ?
2. CONNECTING with LDM & ASKING HOW IS MISSY
Well, I exchanged a few emails with LDM and the FIRST THING I asked her even before we talked about Rick Byle was HOW IS MISSY ?! And after Rick’s funeral in Michigan (which I was NOT able to attend because I’m still in California & it just was not possible to go there) LDM responded to me and said she “thought” she heard you were divorced. I COULDN’T BELIEVE it. LDM did NOT know any more details than that—and didn’t even know for sure where you are now.
For the past few month I kept ASKING LDM by e-mail if she knew WHERE YOU ARE and she said she would try to find out but the only number she knew turned out to be your grandmother who gave her a phone number to try that was disconnected. Then LDM tried calling Amy & Amy said she would try to find out but as of March 24 I still did NOT have any better idea.
So I finally asked somebody I knew who knows how to locate people to try to FIND YOU FOR ME and this person said that she THOUGHT you MIGHT be living in Ohio with your sister Cindy. And this person gave me a few POSSIBLE addresses where I might be able to reach you.
II WHY IT IS SO IMPORTANT for me to REACH YOU
Missy, remember back to our HIGH SCHOOL DAYS & the GOOD TIMES we had together. Do you remember HOW MUCH FUN we had—the laughter & the conversation & the affection we had for each other ? I REMEMBER THOSE DAYS FONDLY & I always remembered you fondly. We had a GREAT RELATIONSHIP up until that ONE FATEFUL NIGHT when I drove you home from a night out—and after sitting in the car for a while I drove up the driveway and one thing led to another and I was going into your house, down the stairs, & into the bedroom with you. DO YOU REMEMBER ? Of course you do ! Who could forget that FATEFUL MOMENT ?
Before re-telling what happened next let me TELL YOU HOW MUCH I RESPECTED YOU and what it meant for me to be with you. You know as well as I know that we had some intimate moments but we NEVER WENT TOO FAR and I believe both of us respected those limits knowing we were TOO YOUNG at the time to go too far. And even being in your bedroom I would have RESPECTED those limits & I KNEW, intuitively, that you did too.
This is WHY I now look back on that MOMENT as a SPIRITUAL MOMENT—somehow arranged by GOD that neither of us understood at the time as such, and maybe still NOT FULLY to this day, but I am becoming convinced of it, more & more, all the time. I’m sure you are familiar with Romeo & Juliet---and thankfully we are, or were, NOT as tragic as them, and thankfully you are STILL ALIVE despite some hardships & difficult times. Likewise, I am STILL ALIVE despite some hardships & difficult times.
Today, I can now speak of “THE NIGHT” but immediately after that particular evening I was very embarrassed all the more so because of the way your mother seemed to think I was a bad person (or so I thought). And I NEVER TOLD anybody about that night, until recently. Actually, I asked LDM if she knew what happened and I was surprised when she immediately remembered. And we did NOT speak the rest of that school year—perhaps you were embarrassed too, & then after high school I returned to California.
I remember being SO SURPRISED when you suddenly showed up at KNOTTS BERRY FARM with your mom & your sister (Cindy ?) and I was STILL TOO EMBARRASSED to talk with you, at least with your mom being there, & I am SORRY that I did not do so at the time. I TRULY did NOT know how to respond to, or resolve, the events that took place that night & so I just went SILENT, so to speak, & tried to DISTANCE MYSELF NOT from you but from that particular night.
And then I went to college, not just Calvin College, but a few semesters at other colleges, including Hawaii & Spain, & I also did some short-term mission work including Costa Rica & Philippines, & eventually ended up back Grand Rapids for more education at Calvin College from 1992 to 1994. At that point I had NO IDEA where you were & figured you had FORGOTTEN ABOUT ME.
III. AT the RESTAURANT by WOODLAND MALL
And so I was TAKEN COMPLETELY BY SURPRISE when suddenly JACK HOLWERDA came to me and told me you wanted to MEET WITH ME. I was so excited to see you again, but he didn’t give me any idea what it was about, NOR did he inform you that MY MIND by that time was FAR AWAY from Grand Rapids & ready to get out of there again. I had NO REAL EMOTIONAL support in Grand Rapids anymore and was looking forward to completing my teaching degree & possibly going off to another country again.
WHEN I MET WITH YOU sometime in 1994 (??) I believe you were about ready to get married but you came to me with UTMOST SINCERITY I REALIZE NOW IN RETROSPECT and you were TRYING TO TELL ME that you STILL cared about me. And MISSY, PLEASE BELIEVE that I STILL CARED about you & always did, but at the time I was EMOTIONALLY FLAT & was NO LONGER in touch with my feelings toward you or anybody else. I had been through a few things myself at the time. Also, it would have BEEN BETTER if Jack had left us alone for a while.
And so it has been FIFTEEN YEARS since we had that very brief get together with Jack listening in and after leaving our little get together at the restaurant by Woodland Mall I finished my second bachelor’s degree & got my teaching degree & taught school for a few years here in California & YOU apparently went ahead and got married.
IV. TRAVELING WITH LOLA MY GOLDEN
FOR FOURTEEN YEARS
After TEACHING I left education & decided to go back for MY MASTERS-in-DIVINITY and ended up back in Grand Rapids for another year (1996-97), this time at Calvin Seminary, and then the next four or five years I spent at FULLER SEMINARY in Pasadena, California and have stayed around Southern California ever since then, while also traveling on a regular basis, especially with LOLA MY GOLDEN RETRIEVER for fourteen years until June of 2007 when she passed away.
V. DOING CHRISTIAN EVANGELISM,
& INSPIRATIONAL FILM
Also, while going through Fuller Seminary I started my own ministry, Mustard Seed Ministries & did a lot of traveling & street evangelism as well as FILMING & creating (or trying to) inspirational films and that is what I continue to do at the moment while also helping occasionally in public education.
VI MY RELATIONSHIPS & MY CURRENT STATUS
I’ve had a few relationships over the years, mostly brief & ending due to various circumstances, most of which had to do with logistics or unexpected circumstances but I REALIZE NOW that actually there was something either PSYCHOLOGICAL or SPIRITUAL happening that prevented me from maintaining meaningful relationships with any of these girls or starting new ones because I had NOT PROPERLY RESOLVED my relationship with YOU ! Our relationship had suddenly terminated under somewhat traumatic circumstances & it was NEVER PROPERLY RESOLVED and discussed, nor truly had the chance to resume under proper circumstances.
VII IS THIS THE TIME to MEET or CHAT & BE RECONCILED ?
And NOW IS OUR CHANCE to at least TALK with each other and FOR ME to do the right thing and address what happened & to be a gentleman & stand up for you, & to do what is right & be a good, Christian person as well as loving, human person. And I still have FEELINGS for you, & CARE for you, & ALWAYS DID ! Can we FINALLY MEET TOGETHER without any distractions? Or at least chat by e-mail at first ?
There are NO EXPECTATIONS . I have NO IDEA how you are feeling & doing EMOTIONALLY or SPIRITUALLY . All I heard is that you might have gotten divorced, but nobody really seems to know anything else or even if that is true. BELIEVE ME I am not judgmental & believe that whatever might have happened it certainly happened for a reason. Sometimes things change for a reason. You may feel hurt, you may feel relieved, you may feel free. You may feel confused. You may feel again or young again, or you may feel old. If you had children with this man maybe you have some feelings in regard to the children.
I DO NOT know how you are feeling or even if you have another relationship with somebody. ALL I KNOW is that I want to get together with you or at least, at first, chat by email or otherwise. DO YOU USE E-MAIL ? If so can you e-mail me at vanderKOK@GMAIL.com ? Or can you call me at 323-316-0244 ?
It is NOW MARCH of 2009 almost APRIL . Will we EVER SEE EACHOTHER or TALK to EACHOTHER again ? I HOPE SO. I PRAY SO. Please, MISSY, now is the time. I am HERE !
YOUR TRUE FRIEND FOREVER
(John) Philip A. (vander) KOK
Missy, I often go by “John” now and have also added “vander” to my name because of the culture here in Los Angeles.
Hello, how are you, the person I always cared for & still do?
I. re RECENT EVENTS :
Missy, I am writing to you now, the FIRST MOMENT possible since finding out where you potentially may be. I have been trying to write to you, or send a card to you, or stay in touch with you by mail over the years thinking you have been married all this time. In fact, the few times that I managed to drive through Michigan over the past few years I also tried to drive past your house in Muskegon, or at least wherever I thought you might live. I even dropped a Bible in your mailbox one time may years ago as I was starting my ministry. I hope you UNDERSTAND why I have TRIED to keep in touch. I have ALWAYS CARED about you & for you.
When we met WAY BACK in high school 25 YEARS AGO I immediately liked you & we immediately had a mutual attraction to each other, at least I thought so. We were YOUNG & we were enjoying each other’s company SO MUCH. I remember SO MANY GOOD TIMES with you: At the beach, in the car, double dating, out-and-about, with other friends too. We had the BEST OF TIMES !
1. LOSS OF A FRIEND: Rick Byle
Do you remember some of the friends we had ? How about Rick Byle ? Well, unfortunately, I regret to inform you (if you have not recently heard) that Rick died in a snowmobile accident just last month (Feb, 2009). In fact, it was because of Rick’s death that I noticed a few entries on his online obituary in the Grand Rapids Press & one of them was from LDM. Do you remember her ?
2. CONNECTING with LDM & ASKING HOW IS MISSY
Well, I exchanged a few emails with LDM and the FIRST THING I asked her even before we talked about Rick Byle was HOW IS MISSY ?! And after Rick’s funeral in Michigan (which I was NOT able to attend because I’m still in California & it just was not possible to go there) LDM responded to me and said she “thought” she heard you were divorced. I COULDN’T BELIEVE it. LDM did NOT know any more details than that—and didn’t even know for sure where you are now.
For the past few month I kept ASKING LDM by e-mail if she knew WHERE YOU ARE and she said she would try to find out but the only number she knew turned out to be your grandmother who gave her a phone number to try that was disconnected. Then LDM tried calling Amy & Amy said she would try to find out but as of March 24 I still did NOT have any better idea.
So I finally asked somebody I knew who knows how to locate people to try to FIND YOU FOR ME and this person said that she THOUGHT you MIGHT be living in Ohio with your sister Cindy. And this person gave me a few POSSIBLE addresses where I might be able to reach you.
II WHY IT IS SO IMPORTANT for me to REACH YOU
Missy, remember back to our HIGH SCHOOL DAYS & the GOOD TIMES we had together. Do you remember HOW MUCH FUN we had—the laughter & the conversation & the affection we had for each other ? I REMEMBER THOSE DAYS FONDLY & I always remembered you fondly. We had a GREAT RELATIONSHIP up until that ONE FATEFUL NIGHT when I drove you home from a night out—and after sitting in the car for a while I drove up the driveway and one thing led to another and I was going into your house, down the stairs, & into the bedroom with you. DO YOU REMEMBER ? Of course you do ! Who could forget that FATEFUL MOMENT ?
Before re-telling what happened next let me TELL YOU HOW MUCH I RESPECTED YOU and what it meant for me to be with you. You know as well as I know that we had some intimate moments but we NEVER WENT TOO FAR and I believe both of us respected those limits knowing we were TOO YOUNG at the time to go too far. And even being in your bedroom I would have RESPECTED those limits & I KNEW, intuitively, that you did too.
This is WHY I now look back on that MOMENT as a SPIRITUAL MOMENT—somehow arranged by GOD that neither of us understood at the time as such, and maybe still NOT FULLY to this day, but I am becoming convinced of it, more & more, all the time. I’m sure you are familiar with Romeo & Juliet---and thankfully we are, or were, NOT as tragic as them, and thankfully you are STILL ALIVE despite some hardships & difficult times. Likewise, I am STILL ALIVE despite some hardships & difficult times.
Today, I can now speak of “THE NIGHT” but immediately after that particular evening I was very embarrassed all the more so because of the way your mother seemed to think I was a bad person (or so I thought). And I NEVER TOLD anybody about that night, until recently. Actually, I asked LDM if she knew what happened and I was surprised when she immediately remembered. And we did NOT speak the rest of that school year—perhaps you were embarrassed too, & then after high school I returned to California.
I remember being SO SURPRISED when you suddenly showed up at KNOTTS BERRY FARM with your mom & your sister (Cindy ?) and I was STILL TOO EMBARRASSED to talk with you, at least with your mom being there, & I am SORRY that I did not do so at the time. I TRULY did NOT know how to respond to, or resolve, the events that took place that night & so I just went SILENT, so to speak, & tried to DISTANCE MYSELF NOT from you but from that particular night.
And then I went to college, not just Calvin College, but a few semesters at other colleges, including Hawaii & Spain, & I also did some short-term mission work including Costa Rica & Philippines, & eventually ended up back Grand Rapids for more education at Calvin College from 1992 to 1994. At that point I had NO IDEA where you were & figured you had FORGOTTEN ABOUT ME.
III. AT the RESTAURANT by WOODLAND MALL
And so I was TAKEN COMPLETELY BY SURPRISE when suddenly JACK HOLWERDA came to me and told me you wanted to MEET WITH ME. I was so excited to see you again, but he didn’t give me any idea what it was about, NOR did he inform you that MY MIND by that time was FAR AWAY from Grand Rapids & ready to get out of there again. I had NO REAL EMOTIONAL support in Grand Rapids anymore and was looking forward to completing my teaching degree & possibly going off to another country again.
WHEN I MET WITH YOU sometime in 1994 (??) I believe you were about ready to get married but you came to me with UTMOST SINCERITY I REALIZE NOW IN RETROSPECT and you were TRYING TO TELL ME that you STILL cared about me. And MISSY, PLEASE BELIEVE that I STILL CARED about you & always did, but at the time I was EMOTIONALLY FLAT & was NO LONGER in touch with my feelings toward you or anybody else. I had been through a few things myself at the time. Also, it would have BEEN BETTER if Jack had left us alone for a while.
And so it has been FIFTEEN YEARS since we had that very brief get together with Jack listening in and after leaving our little get together at the restaurant by Woodland Mall I finished my second bachelor’s degree & got my teaching degree & taught school for a few years here in California & YOU apparently went ahead and got married.
IV. TRAVELING WITH LOLA MY GOLDEN
FOR FOURTEEN YEARS
After TEACHING I left education & decided to go back for MY MASTERS-in-DIVINITY and ended up back in Grand Rapids for another year (1996-97), this time at Calvin Seminary, and then the next four or five years I spent at FULLER SEMINARY in Pasadena, California and have stayed around Southern California ever since then, while also traveling on a regular basis, especially with LOLA MY GOLDEN RETRIEVER for fourteen years until June of 2007 when she passed away.
V. DOING CHRISTIAN EVANGELISM,
& INSPIRATIONAL FILM
Also, while going through Fuller Seminary I started my own ministry, Mustard Seed Ministries & did a lot of traveling & street evangelism as well as FILMING & creating (or trying to) inspirational films and that is what I continue to do at the moment while also helping occasionally in public education.
VI MY RELATIONSHIPS & MY CURRENT STATUS
I’ve had a few relationships over the years, mostly brief & ending due to various circumstances, most of which had to do with logistics or unexpected circumstances but I REALIZE NOW that actually there was something either PSYCHOLOGICAL or SPIRITUAL happening that prevented me from maintaining meaningful relationships with any of these girls or starting new ones because I had NOT PROPERLY RESOLVED my relationship with YOU ! Our relationship had suddenly terminated under somewhat traumatic circumstances & it was NEVER PROPERLY RESOLVED and discussed, nor truly had the chance to resume under proper circumstances.
VII IS THIS THE TIME to MEET or CHAT & BE RECONCILED ?
And NOW IS OUR CHANCE to at least TALK with each other and FOR ME to do the right thing and address what happened & to be a gentleman & stand up for you, & to do what is right & be a good, Christian person as well as loving, human person. And I still have FEELINGS for you, & CARE for you, & ALWAYS DID ! Can we FINALLY MEET TOGETHER without any distractions? Or at least chat by e-mail at first ?
There are NO EXPECTATIONS . I have NO IDEA how you are feeling & doing EMOTIONALLY or SPIRITUALLY . All I heard is that you might have gotten divorced, but nobody really seems to know anything else or even if that is true. BELIEVE ME I am not judgmental & believe that whatever might have happened it certainly happened for a reason. Sometimes things change for a reason. You may feel hurt, you may feel relieved, you may feel free. You may feel confused. You may feel again or young again, or you may feel old. If you had children with this man maybe you have some feelings in regard to the children.
I DO NOT know how you are feeling or even if you have another relationship with somebody. ALL I KNOW is that I want to get together with you or at least, at first, chat by email or otherwise. DO YOU USE E-MAIL ? If so can you e-mail me at vanderKOK@GMAIL.com ? Or can you call me at 323-316-0244 ?
It is NOW MARCH of 2009 almost APRIL . Will we EVER SEE EACHOTHER or TALK to EACHOTHER again ? I HOPE SO. I PRAY SO. Please, MISSY, now is the time. I am HERE !
YOUR TRUE FRIEND FOREVER
(John) Philip A. (vander) KOK
Missy, I often go by “John” now and have also added “vander” to my name because of the culture here in Los Angeles.
Friday, March 13, 2009
IN the NAME & BLOOD of JESUS I CAST ALL DEMONS OUT of HERE by vanderKOK
And as you go, preach, saying,'The kingdom of heaven is at hand.' Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out demons. Freely you have received, freely give. Matt 10:7-8
The Sunday Message
By JOHN THE CHRISTIAN EVANGELIST FOR CHRIST
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Good Morning from
Sierra Madre, California
This is Pastor Kok III with the Sunday Morning Message !
How is everybody today? Are you healthy---not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well? What do you do to keep yourself healthy? How does prayer effect your life—being prayed for and praying for others? How does your relationship with God affect your life—not just God the Father, but the Son and the Holy Spirit as well ! Does it really matter if we worship a Triune God (i.e. three-in-one) rather than the singular God of the Jews? It seems to me there should be a difference (and there is). And I hope to speak about that some time in the future.
But today I want to talk about finding the lost sheep !
Who are the “lost sheep?” The term appears to be used of both Jews (see Matt 10:5-10) as well as Gentiles (see 1 Peter 2:25) although it seems to be more prevalent in reference to the Jewish people, being appended by “of the house of Israel” (also see Matt 15:24).
But let us begin with a few songs:
Song: Dear God Our Father
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/d/g/dgofatkc.htmb
Song: Does Jesus Care ?
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/d/o/doesjeca.htm
Song: Members of Christ are We!
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/m/e/memchrist.htm
Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for giving us health—emotional, physical, and spiritual. And help us to GROW in YOU ! Help us to live by FAITH, not fear. Help us to LOVE YOU MORE AND MORE> And to live by this LOVE OF YOU, more so than fear of You. You are the GREAT CREATOR. WE See Your purpose and presence in everything we do, everywhere we go ! PRAISE YOUR NAME ! And Lord, let me be the PRESENCE OF CHRIST in Sierra Madre. Let me help people here know You better ! Let them come to trust YOU and Grow in YOU ! Empower me, God, to be a symbol of FAITH here in Sierra Madre. Thank You Lord. Amen.
Scripture: Matt 10:5-10 and 1 Peter 2:25
These twelve Jesus sent out and commanded them, saying: "Do not go into the way of the Gentiles, and do not enter a city of the Samaritans. But go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. And as you go, preach, saying,'The kingdom of heaven is at hand.' Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out demons. Freely you have received, freely give. Provide neither gold nor silver nor copper in your money belts, nor bag for your journey, nor two tunics, nor sandals, nor staffs; for a worker is worthy of his food. Matthew 10:5-10
For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.
1 Peter 2:25
WHO ARE THE LOST SHEEP?
AND HOW DO WE CAST OUT DEMONS?
I spend a lot of time on the road, and some of the time I am in classrooms (as a substitute teacher); other times I am concentrating on a specific area that I want to witness to. Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time in the little foothill town of Sierra Madre just east of Pasadena and Altadena. There’s a “downtown” in Sierra Madre at the intersection of Sierra Madre Ave and Baldwin. There are no skyscrapers or high-rises or anything that makes it look like a typical “downtown” but it is considered downtown for Sierra Madre.
And there’s a little coffee shop called Bean Town here. I was there this morning. I’ve been going there frequently not so much for great coffee but to become known in the community—a lot of locals come here. The environment is decent. They play old rock tunes on the sound system. They offer a variety of snacks and sandwiches. And there are places to sit, plug in, and click on your laptop if you’re so inclined. And the people, in general, are nice. Although sometimes the “clerks” can be a little difficult.
The coffee clerks at Bean Town are there all the time. The shop opens around 6 am and closes at 11 pm. It does good business. And it has a small town feel. People know each other by their first name. I met a “Ron” and his two daughters this morning. He saw me buying a coffee mug (which I thought was an official bean town mug) and thought I should get a free cup of coffee with it (but I didn’t). He said “I’m negotiating for you” –because he was the one speaking to the clerks, not me.
I think of some of the coffee clerks here as “lost sheep” sometimes. I don’t think many if any have much interest in Jesus Christ. They are polite most of the time. They do their job. They don’t speak badly of religion or Christianity, but I get the feeling that they are not very enthusiastic either. They are merely secular. And they are hard to reach. They are hardened to the Good News even though they are polite and most of the time respectful. They probably believe that money is all that matters—not necessarily making a lot of it (they don’t get too many tips at Bean Town) but at least having enough to spend.
And a lot of our society is like that, clerks especially. They have acquiesced to the notion that every day money must be transferred for goods and goods for money and at the end of the day everything should balance. And the next day we do it again. NO wonder some clerks are depressed. With a worldview like that, day after day becomes virtually meaningless apart from staying alive, well fed, clothed, etc. But there’s NO HIGHER MEANING for them.
And clerks are not the only ones who think this way. There are even those at Fuller Seminary I’ve come to realize who think this way. And maybe other seminaries as well. There may be some in education who think this way (some become principals or assistant principals for the money more than anything else) . Maybe some in medicine ( I knew a few doctor interns at the time back in Michigan who chose to become OB/GYN because that’s where the money was at the time—and maybe still is) and in law think this way as well (how many kids go to law school thinking it is the path to big bucks?).
Unfortunately, because of sin, no profession or occupation is free from those who are cynical and depressed. But we, as TRUE CHRISTIANS IN THE SPIRIT must avoid acquiescing to such a cynical worldview. We must not allow that sort of thinking to creep into our minds and become our “zeitgeist.” We must believe in what the Bible says—as the purpose for our lives. Succumbing to a “money is all that matters” mindset is to give up our God-given gifts, and makes us an impotent society.
And one thing the Good Book says is “…find the lost sheep…” in addition to “casting out demons”
The Good Book periodically mentions the task of casting out demons:
[ Jesus said:] And if I cast out demons by Beelzebub, by whom do your sons cast them out? Therefore they shall be your judges. But if I cast out demons by the Spirit of God, surely the kingdom of God has come upon you. Matt 12:27-29
And He went up on the mountain and called to Him those He Himself wanted. And they came to Him. Then He appointed twelve, that they might be with Him and that He might send them out to preach, and to have power to heal sicknesses and to cast out demons: Mark 3:13-16
And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues;
Mark 16:17-18
But if I cast out demons with the finger of God, surely the kingdom of God has come upon you. Luke 11:20-21
Matthew’s Commentary says this about the
“FINGER OF GOD” and CASTING OUT DEMONS” :
In Matthew it is by the Spirit of God, here by the finger of God; the Spirit is the arm of the Lord, Isa 53:1. His greatest and most mighty works were wrought by his Spirit; but, if the Spirit in this work is said to be the finger of the Lord, it perhaps may intimate how easily Christ did and could conquer Satan, even with the finger of God, the exerting of the divine power in a less and lower degree than in many other instances. He needed not make bare his everlasting arm; that roaring lion, when he pleases, is crushed, like a moth, with a touch of a finger. Perhaps here is an allusion to the acknowledgment of Pharaoh's magicians, when they were run aground (Ex 8:19): This is the finger of God. (re Luke 11:14-26)
(from Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible: New Modern Edition, Electronic Database. Copyright (c) 1991 by Hendrickson Publishers, Inc.)
We have much more power , as Christians, than most of us realize, and more than most of us ever use. The power is available but comes only BY FAITH. There are pastors and seminary personnel who do not believe in the power of God. They preach and teach a watered down gospel. It’s like a diluted cup of good coffee—the Word of God they know does not have the power and impact it could and should if there was STRONGER FAITH !
The word “power” in the Bible—in its most generic, unanalyzed form (i.e. doing an English word search of the New King James Version for “power”) is mentioned 245 times. Many of these references are directly in regards to the POWER OF GOD, which is given, in part, to us—BELIEVERS IN JESUS CHRIST ! The Greek for power is “dunamis” NT:1411 dunamis (doo'-nam-is); from NT:1410; force (literally or figuratively); specially, miraculous power (usually by implication, a miracle itself)
(Biblesoft's New Exhaustive Strong's Numbers and Concordance with Expanded Greek-Hebrew Dictionary. Copyright © 1994, 2003 Biblesoft, Inc. and International Bible Translators, Inc.)
It is probably the root of the word “DYNAMITE”.
“Power” in Hebrew comes from OT:3581
koach (ko'-akh); or (Dan 11:6) kowach (ko'-akh); from an unused root meaning to be firm; vigor, literally (force, in a good or a bad sense) or figuratively (capacity, means, produce); also (from its hardiness)
In some places the word power comes from the Hebrew for “hand”
OT:3027
yad (yawd); a primitive word; a hand (the open one [indicating power, means, direction, etc.], in distinction from OT:3709, the closed one); used (as noun, adverb, etc.) in a great variety of applications, both literally and figuratively, both proximate and remote [as follows]
And it does not always apply to the Power of God. There were bad or controversial people who had power as well. The pharaoh in 2 Kings 17. 7 is said to have had “power”—and so he did, but he did not always use it for good. And God easily crushed the pharaoh.
And when I went to Fuller Seminary there were a few professors, including Charles Kraft and Peter Wagner, (who are no longer there) who taught about the power of God and casting out demons. These two professors were not the typical Fuller Seminary professors. Many of the staff and faculty at Fuller Seminary are much more academically inclined---teaching how to study the Bible, do exegesis, understand the Greek & Hebrew in an academic manner.
Nancey Murphy teaches apologetics but does not do so with “power” or strength. She has watered down the Gospel to an academic exercise. And she comes from a Roman Catholic and Irish tradition—not so much Protestant. She also attended Berkeley University—which might explain a few things (maybe more about that later). Other Fuller professors are very “academic” –Ray Anderson teaches a lot about practicing “non-religious Christianity” but some of the power is taken out of our faith when we become too non-religious, or secular. Even Richard Mouw, the president of Fuller Seminary, and his sidekick, Peter Harkema (who doesn’t teach) seem to be cynical about the real power of FAITH ! Have they also acquiesced to a “money is all that matters” mindset?
I personally have begun tapping into the power of God and have cast out demons. I did so at my parents’ house in Bellflower when they were in Australia recently and prior to that a few summers ago when they were in Michigan (and I made a video based on that experience which I entitled “House of Prayer”) . Casting out demons is not necessarily something very eery and accompanied by all kinds of special effects as might be conjured up in your minds from watching Hollywood movies. It can be much less dramatic than that.
And when I say I "casted out demons" at my parents’ house that is not to say that the house was stricken by all kinds of weird, supernatural and evil manifestations. It’s not that dramatic. I’m talking about seemingly much less significant demonic activity –and which can be found in most average households. And by casting out demons from their household it brings back the angels—the GOOD SPIRITS !
Furthermore, I communicated to my dad that I was casting out demons at his house merely by sitting there and eating abundantly, including a frozen pizza I found in their freezer. By sitting there with an abundance of faith and courage, eating to my hearts content, I was casting out demons of fear and timidity at the house.
Later, I told my dad to think of that frozen pizza as the Kingdom of God—I am eating the kingdom as an anaology to going out into the world and finding the lost sheep and casting out demons. And I was doing it right there at his house. Although no lost sheep were present, I was casting out demons.
The only problem is that if my dad, also a Christian pastor, (or mom, a former teacher) does not truly believe in demons—they bring them back when they return. Because demons like nothing more than the casual, cynical attitude about their existence. And even some pastors, seminary professors, academicians, and many other professionals doubt any sort of “dark” existence.
That’s not to say some of these people are not believers, but some of them have not tapped fully into the TRUE POWER OF GOD. They have done so partially, but that is not enough. Given my dad and mom pray at their house and have a lot of Christian books and Bibles and signs and symbols of faith their house is much stronger than most. But it is not perfect. My dad still has room to grow in his faith. As do we all.
But take a place like Bean Town Coffee in Sierra Madre –there are no religious artifacts whatsoever there. Rock n Roll plays on the stereo. People are generally friendly. The clerks are always there. But demons can be felt. They are obviously present. Last week I briefly heard a person behind me mention God to his wife—he was reading the newspaper and there must have been an article about the church or something related. I couldn’t make out the conversation that well. But that’s about the extent of anything I’ve heard or seen about God at Bean Town.
And the clerks don’t create an opening for God. They are nice enough (most of the time) but not very inspirational. This coffee house attracts people because it has a sense of community friendliness—and does not have the despair of most bars or taverns. But it is lacking the TRUE POWER OF GOD.
I’ve gone in there time after time to show my face. It is a stronghold that needs to be overcome with the SPIRIT OF GOD, the SPIRIT OF JESUS. And I think I am having an effect. I think I am casting out demons. I buy coffee there not because I like their coffee that much or actually have that much interest in drinking it so much ( I almost always drink decaf).
I bought a piece of quiche there yesterday (yes, real men do eat quiche) —just for the sake of buying something, and I bought a mug there this morning (Sunday October 22, 2006) again just for the sake of buying something in front of the clerks. The average clerk is impressed with the show of money, more so than anything else. If I mentioned God to them they would say “Show me the money”. If I mentioned Jesus to them they would say “Show me the money. “ So I’ve shown a little (not that I have a lot) to keep them off my back and to keep them from thinking I am a free loader. Clerks are cynical.
And when I am in there my presence IN THE SPIRIT makes a difference. I interacted with Ron and his two daughters this morning in a friendly way. We had an impact on the environment. When clerks see you in agreement with other competent people they back off. If am in there all alone all the time they tend to become more aggressive. Yesterday the clerk called me “man” in a condescending manner but when I bought a piece of quiche and added a coffee on top for $5.00 he suddenly called me “sir.” He said he would bring it to me but then he either forgot or was trying to slight me—because the next thing I knew he was sitting outside taking a break smoking a cigarette and the piece of quiche was still in the microwave. I had to get up and ask another coffee clerk to get it for me.
Our society does not, in general, like God. They think God and the church take away freedom, but it is just the opposite. The TRUE CHURCH and the REAL GOD—the FATHER, SON, and HOLY GHOST, BRING LIBERTY and FREEDOM to do GOOD! Sure, in many places, the Roman Catholic church has been more of a predator than a bearer of Good News but they are not the only church or denomination to have mangled the Goodness of God. You don’t throw out the baby with the bath water.
I spent a week at a school in downtown Los Angeles last week—four days in the same classroom, same school. That is unique for me –usually my assignments are one or two days. The regular teacher was on maternity leave and it was a Spanish class---no not ESL (English as a Second Language)—this was a regular Spanish class where the kids were taking their required courses so as to get accepted into college. I don’t normally teach Spanish. I know it well enough to teach it. I spent a Semester in Spain learning the language (and got all A’s), and took two years in high school. But I am not a great speaker of Spanish, nor do I purport to be fluent in it.
And the principal there, Harry Haskell, was a nice guy who tried to be helpful. He was aware that some of the classes were challenging—kids with attitudes. So strength was as important as knowledge. It does me no good to be a teacher if I totally give away my strength, like Samson did with Delilah, and allow myself to become depleted and over run by others.
I needed strength to get through some of those periods, and through the whole week. Some of the kids were not that gracious. But by persevering I cast out a few demons. A few times during the day I said a prayer under my breath and I made it!
And I heard things I didn’t like to hear—profanity, and saw a few things I didn’t like to see—two girls kissing and fondling each other (the second time I’ve seen lesbianism in action in the public schools) which I broke up. I was practicing the presence of God and casting out demons (by the way, I would have broken up kissing and fondling if it had been heterosexual in nature as well, although it is less repugnant to me; and at such a young age the lesbianism made me really reflect on social problems—and made me wonder if our inability as public school teachers to overtly speak or teach in Christ has had a negative impact on the kids).
At the time my presence in the Spirit, however, was more important than knowing Spanish. The school definitely had demons. There were a lot of good teachers there. But academic ability alone is not enough to cast out demons. It helps. Education helps. Teaching alone without the Spirit of God present is still better than nothing. But with the Spirit you become a transformer !
And I even had trouble with some of the demons at this school—despite being in the Spirit. It wore me down. The Spirit can be “grieved” by the environment. We should not be foolhardy and think that we can stay in a demonic place for too long just because we have the Spirit.
Without renewing the Spirit in the presence of other believers or a Holy place we can become depleted. I had to get away from this place by the end of the week and that was longer than I usually stay. I told the principal as well—that in the future I would only be able to take one or two day assignments, and let him know that I was not a “long term sub.”
Also, I continue to reflect up on the nature of “church”—the fact that we “go to church” rather than sometimes “bring the church” to others. Sure, we need to go to church sometimes to regenerate and become rejuvenated with the Body of Christ, but also we should be “bringing the church” to others and that is what I am trying to do more so. When I go to Bean Town I am trying to bring the church (the incarnational presence of Christ) to them even though I do not say so. When I go into the public schools I am trying to bring the church (the incarnational presence of Christ) to them even though I do not say so.
The demons know and fear the Spirit of God. But sometimes it takes a while for that realization to become apparent. Some of the clerks at Bean Town have secular demons in them and are very hardened to the Spirit but my presence there for the past several weeks has helped cast out some of those demons—especially their demons of fear.
Some police have demons of fear as well. They have a “comfort zone” which they like to maintain. When they see something they do not recognize or consider “different” they become afraid. Sometimes their fears are justified given some of the craziness in our world, but other times it is simply the fear of something or someone they do not know or recognize. Therefore as Christians we must simply “show our face” in order to cast out the demons of fear in some of our police. But we must not acquiesce to their sometimes overly simplistic worldview. That’s not our job. We must not compromise our integrity for the sake of appeasing some clerks or cops.
Clerks, police officers, security guards, you name it—a variety of people with certain jobs, occupations, and professions, tend to diminish the power of God—because they reduce us to mere atomic beings—beings made of atoms, nothing more. They reduce us to being nothing more than advanced biological “animals” who need to eat, sleep, and socialize.
But we have something no “animal” has—a greater gift—the Imago Deo (Image of God). It is this gift that we must put into practice and allow to flourish and we must demand that society, congress, government, police, schools, etc allow us to grow.
We have the POWER OF GOD, the power to do GOOD and to practice our GODLINESS. Some other cultures recognize this much more so than American culture. Some other cultures are much more in tune to spiritual presence. It is fear in American culture that tries to eliminate anything we do not fully understand and for some that includes God and religion.
But if they only knew how terrible our world would be without God they would cringe and cry. Even though we are only tapping into a small part of the GREAT POWER OF GOD, it is enough to keep society, in general, in decent order. If we could conjure up more faith as a world or country or large community we would see even GREATER THINGS !
And so as I go I am not only CASTING OUT DEMONS but also SEEKING LOST SHEEP. Some of the sheep do not even know they are lost. They are so far away from the pasture and have been led astray for so long they do not even know anymore their own spiritual potential. They, themselves, think of themselves as merely biological—eat, sleep, drink—and be a little social.
But GOD wants more than that from us! He wants to see TRUE LIFE coming from us ! He does not want us to merely exist. He gets bored with COFFEE HOUSES and BARS. Starbucks is meaningless to HIM. Bean Town is meaningless to HIM. It’s not making people any better. It’s not bringing out the best in people.
That’s why the CHURCH MUST GO TO SOME OF THESE PLACES—to TRANSFORM them. That’s why sometimes our best people of faith must not only go to church on Sunday but must also go to Bean Town, so to speak. We must go where the churched people are not—NOT ALL THE TIME—but SOMETIMES.
I don’t allow myself to stay long enough at Bean Town to become cynical or secular. I stay just long enough to leave some of the Spirit of God behind, and take some of the demons out. By continually doing this, and with the help of other PERSONS IN CHRIST we transform communities, small and large.
Another interesting experience I had this week was at a public high school where I was on assignment and during the conference period a fellow showed up at the door looking for the regular teacher. This guy, who calls himself Lindsay, said he was a healer and that the regular teacher had requested a session with him. Apparently the regular teacher couldn’t make it that day and had not told Lindsay (who hangs out at the school and practices his “healing” on students, apparently with permission from the school).
Lindsay is an African-American fellow—large enough to make you think he was an athlete of some kind at some point in his life. He carries a portable table and says he lets the “angels do the healing.” I told him the regular teacher was not there today but mentioned to him that I had a bad back, arm, leg (all on my left side) and he offered to do a healing session for me. He did not mention Jesus Christ but said “the angels do the healing.” He said it was “non-touch” which reassured me. I didn’t want him touching me even though his presence was not threatening nor did he seem like a queer.
So I laid down on his table and he put a towel over my eyes and for 20 minutes hovered his hands over me in silence. My pain was not gone at the end of the session and he said it sometimes takes three sessions. Maybe so. But I mentioned I was more interested in the laying on of hands in the name of Jesus Christ for healing. He perked up at that and said that he believes in Jesus too but that the district does not allow that sort of interaction.
But it is exactly the sort of interaction that is needed! I understand why he was hesitant to mention Jesus Christ but WHY NOT DO IT ANYWAYS?! I talk about Jesus Christ with students when the opportunity naturally arises and the student or students are receptive. IF they are interested and ask it is not proselytizing. Proselytizing infers forcing something on somebody who is not interested or receptive. When that is the case I usually do my praying silently.
And so I pray for the school I was at all week –I call it “Hospital High” because it is associated with one of the downtown Los Angeles hospitals. And I ask for your prayers for this school as well. And I pray for Bean Town and the clerks there—and ask for your prayers as well. And I pray for my mom and dad , Jim & Linda Kok, who are great people—and ask for your prayers for them as well. And I pray for Richard Mouw and Peter Harkema and Nancey Murphy who are wonderful human beings, and ask for your prayers for them as well.
I pray for the Spirit to be present in them and for them to be receptive to the Holy Ghost—the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—not just in words but in enveloping their whole BEING. I pray for Glen Stassen, a Fuller Seminary professor and William Dyrness, also at Fuller—both academic about God but let the Holy Spirit totally come into them and cast out fear.
I pray for the black community, and go there to pray for them. I practice the PRESENCE OF FAITH in their midst—just showing my face to cast out the demons of fear in them. This requires repetition sometimes. It is tiring sometimes. But we have to do it. Peter Harkema often does the opposite –just showing up at the scheduled time and place. But he is not living totally by faith—there’s too much timidity in him—this does not empower others or encourage them.
Non-faith people can be “draining personalities”—tapping our strength, our energy, our morale. That is why we must come and go from such environments when the non-faith presence is stronger than the faith presence. We can’t transform everything in an instant. It takes time, commitment, perseverance. Clerks can be especially draining. In fact, there’s not a lot of reward in this life for living by faith. The only thing that can compel us is our LOVE OF GOD and KNOWING WE WILL LIVE IN ETERNITY WITH H IM FOR TRYING—FOR DOING OUR BEST ! The MORE YOU KNOW HIM, THE MORE YOU LOVE HIM, THE MORE YOU WANT TO BE WITH HIM, FOREVER !
So we do what we do for the LOVE OF GOD, LESS SO THAN FEAR ! A great coach, teacher, principal, leader instills love of him more so than fear of him. Love is a much greater motivator than fear.
Allow the Holy Spirit to come alive in you! Practice the presence of God—going places, doing things—not necessarily in an outlandish religious manner—but just getting out there and playing ball, or at least going to the ball park—and that does not mean the church building alone—it means getting out into the community and world—the schools, the government, other countries, etc. Faith begets faith.
Song: Messiah, Prince of Peace
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/m/p/mpopeace.htm
Song: More Like Jesus Would I Be
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/m/o/morelikj.htm
Prayer: Dear God, Thank you for the words today to bring this message of faith to your believers (and some non-believers). May this message be a blessing to others. And may I be blessed because of it. Keep inspiring me Lord to be a beacon of Good Will for YOU.
Help me not to fear about running out of money, but to use the money I have to do YOUR WILL—knowing that ALL ELSE WILL FOLLOW. Give me YOUR SPIRIT LORD, And be with my E-Congregation as well.
Give my E-Congregation the Spirit to do YOUR WILL as well. And I am thankful that they have been so encouraging to me, God. You have inspired them through me to be encouragers. PRAISE YOUR NAME ! IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST, Amen !
Now go! And find the lost sheep, and bring them back to the flock ! And cast out demons along the way, bringing in the Spirit of Jesus Christ. You can do it too !
WE have the power, my friends, as Christians—but only if you TRULY BELIEVE ! You can do ANYTHING! And that is what we at Mustard Seed Ministries believe and practice and try to instill in to others. “With Faith as Small as a Mustard Seed…
Anything is Possible ! “ (Matt 17. 20)
J.P. Kok
JOHN THE EVANGELIST
ALOHA ! PLANTING SEEDS of FAITH ! by vanderKOK
3/4/07
ALOHA !
PLANTING SEEDS OF FAITH, HOPING FOR GOOD SOIL
WELCOME !
AND NO I AM NOT CURRENTLY IN HAWAII, BUT MY MESSAGE IS BASED, IN PART, ON REFLECTIONS & IMAGES FROM MY PREVIOUS EXPERIENCES THERE IN PAST YEARS.
Pastor Kok III
March 4, 2007
The Sunday-Monday-Tuesday Message
By Pastor Kok III
Re. Who’s in Charge?
“Whenever the Rainbow Appears…”
Empowerment
Kenosis
Ask & You Will Receive !
Accepting Grace
Water, Redemption, New Life !
Symbolic Baptism, Symbolic Communion
Protestants, Catholics, Buddhists
Praying for my Brother, Steven Paul Kok
Avoiding Pecking Order Personalities
“Beware of the Judaizers… “
Praying for My Friends from Hawaii
Planting Seeds of Faith, Hoping for Good Soil
Spiritually Healing the Physical Healers
Etc.
Good Morning ! from Santa Barbara, California !
What a week! An exhausting week! But the Sunday-Monday-Tuesday Message helps rejuvenate and restore me. What about you? I hope so for you too ! I had to get out of town (Los Angeles, that is) for a while… it becomes very small after a while for such a large metropolitan area. Of course I’ve been exploring it and pushing boundaries for quite a while now. I wouldn’t say I know Los Angeles like the back of my hand yet, the way I once knew Grand Rapids, but I would say I’m getting there.
But before I continue with the PREAMBLE, let us begin with a WORD OF PRAYER and a few songs of praise.
Prayer: Dear God, thank you for Your goodness to me, for Your goodness to us—the BODY OF BELIEVERS. You are the HOLY ONE in Whose Image we are made. We
Reflect YOUR GLORY here on earth—BRINGING LIGHT to others. We give HOPE To those with little hope. We give FAITH to those with little faith. We INSPIRE others
Because we are YOUR LIGHT—not the false light of Allah, not the false light of Buddha, not the false light of Hinduism, BUT YOUR LIGHT—THE LIGHT OF THE
FATHER-SON-&-HOLY SPIRIT, the TRIUNE GOD ! YOU lift us up when we are down. YOU put us back together again when we fall apart. YOU are our strength. YOU are the BODY & BLOOD ! We are YOURS ! And we THANK YOU Lord, thank you, thank you, thank you! It is because of our humbling of ourselves and acknowledging You as the ONLY TRUE HIGHER POWER that we are REGENERATED for another day to make the ONLY TRUE DIFFERENCE in this world—as the BODY OF BELIEVERS, YOUR FAITHFUL ONES ! We PRAISE YOUR NAME—AND WE pray in the name
Of YOUR SON, JESUS CHRIST, Whom we have become !
Song: O Holy Spirit, Lord of Grace !
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/o/h/ohslgrac.htm
Song: Holy God, We Praise Your Name !
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/h/o/holygod.htm
Song: Come Holy Spirit Come !
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/c/h/chs_come.htm
Prayer: Oh good Lord, I am tired but regenerated. I am exhausted but exhilarated. And I ask for YOUR BLESSING on today’s message, THE SUNDAY MESSAGE BY
PASTOR KOK III ! Bless this message and bless YOUR BELIEVERS—let them be Edified, educated, and maybe even entertained by today’s message. Most importantly, may we ALL BE BETTER PERSONS BECAUSE OF IT ! In the name of JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD, AMEN !
My friends, as I was saying this was a long week—and here is why. Some of you know that one of my ‘missions’ in this world is the public schools. I started out as a ‘regular teacher’ in Coachella Valley back when it was a very desolate community on the far edge of the desert—and has since grown and multiplied and developed. Last week my message was composed, in part, from the east end of the Coachella Valley—and I gave you images from the National Date Festival, and ended up back in Los Angeles near the Academy Awards ceremony.
The next day, Monday, I got an assignment to the Westchester area of Los Angeles—very close to Los Angeles International Airport (LAX). The automated system randomly requests substitute teachers and this request happened to be a five-day assignment and, unbeknownst to me prior to my arrival, I would be working with a STUDENT TEACHER all week.
ALMOST EVERY future teacher starting out in college goes through a teaching program in addition to their major or majors they acquire along the way. Most programs require future teachers to do what is called “student teaching.” I did it too—back in Michigan in conjunction with Calvin College—at Holland Christian Middle School (now called South Shores Middle). Bob Kool was my ‘supervising teacher’.
So I arrive at this Westchester School and get a key to the classroom from Ms Choyce—a nice main office secretary (one of the few nice ones). And I walk to the D building—arriving at the room I meet the student teacher, “Ms. S.” She’s a student at nearby LMU (Loyola Marymount University).
Our introduction starts out relatively friendly, although I am perplexed by how she begins—as she inquires, “I heard you were a regular teacher…” …and I am thinking to myself ‘you heard…” and wondering who’s been talking and how anybody knows anything about me at all at this level.
Only a few people are privy to my personnel records (as far as I know)…but I glossed over it for the time being. She’s a young lady—and assertive—not the kind of person I wish to argue with. Because she also is resting upon her “rights” as a student teacher at the school . Anything I say could be used against me—if she suddenly becomes “legalistic” or even UNTRUTHFUL although she doesn’t seem that way.
Nonetheless, I keep the conversation at a superficial level for the time being—telling her briefly about my experience at CVUSD, noting the antagonistic politics going on there at the time. And she commiserates—saying, “I understand.” So I think everything is going to be kool.
But at the same time as the classes begin—I realize this is going to be a very “passive” week for me. Normally I am the only adult in the classroom and I have to lead the class, take control, communicate with the students, do attendance, sometimes discipline students, maintain a decent milieu, keep students from harassing each other, etc. But now she’s in charge—to a certain extent. Albeit they let me know at the office that I am ultimately the ONE IN CHARGE .
My one concern wherever I happen to be is to make sure the attendance gets taken right away. So as the first period begins I ask Ms. S who is absence and she bristles a little bit—as if I was being presumptuous talking to her directly—almost as if I am an “underling” and then she adds,
“ I like to wait a little while…”
Now for me teaching is not “just a job” nor something I do “just for the money.” There are easier ways to make money, and more money. I wouldn’t be doing what I do if it was not a MISSION. And it can also be EMPOWERING---and should be—FOR BOTH ME AND THE STUDENTS. If I walk out feeling overly beleaguered at the end of the day—something went wrong. I WANT TO BRING OUT THE BEST IN THE STUDENTS AND at the same time BRING OUT THE BEST IN MYSELF.
But as the first day wore on I realized that Ms. S. thought of herself as being a “superior’ to me. But she was a “lady” and I didn’t want to argue—that would not be gentlemanly of me, so I let it go. At the same time she NEEDED TO BE EMPOWERED and feel as if she were truly and totally in charge. So I wanted to play my part in HELPING HER BECOME A TEACHER. The “work”, therefore, became a task of diligence—trying not to OVERSHADOW HER, and letting her have the stage, so to speak. I JUST WISHED SHE COULD BE A LITTLE GRACIOUS AND THANKFUL TO ME FOR PLAYING THE PART.
Anyways, back at the main office (or across the hall in the attendance office) I mention my conflict to Ms. Torres and she says, “She needs to know you are in charge.” And I equivocate a little, but she goes so far as to say that we can have a meeting with the principal to let her know. I say, ‘Hopefully that will not be necessary.”
In fact, if there’s one thing I want least is the formal intervention of an administrator when I am at a public school. I seek to empower and be empowered at a informal level and hoped that Ms. S would realize that EXPECTATION as the week went by—that she was being empowered by me just as much as she could empower me. For that matter I was
NOT SABOTAGING her efforts as a student teacher.
But was she sabotaging me?
I was trying to give her respect and support—modeling such for the students to follow. Didn’t she realize that successful teaching usually only happens if and when the students (& others) decide to cooperate at a RESPECT LEVEL rather than a judicial enforcement level? It goes back to the same sort of relationship God wants from HIS FOLLOWERS—love not law.
Any teacher knows that it is exhausting and ultimately not very satisfying to have to be constantly disciplining and doing interventions with the students. At the same time there are students who simply do NOT LEARN TO LOVE OR RESPECT and therefore use of “the stick” (so to speak) is the only way to maintain order. And let’s face it—at a young age—a good teacher is a teacher who has perseverance—in regards to TEACHING MECHANICS.
You cannot take insults from students at a personal level, nor can you hope for or depend upon their affection. But hopefully some sort of decent “relationship” can fall into place after a while. Nonetheless, it only takes one or two unruly, disrespectful, students to sabotage a classroom milieu. It can be difficult.
Remembering some of the things I learned along the way and recalling some of my own experiences I vowed to not take any of the student teacher’s slights of me at a personal level. She was young, relatively small in physical stature, albeit with a strong voice and obviously intelligent—but she needed support from me as well as the other adult in the classroom—a special education teacher who assisted.
So I ignored the slights and did not make a “power play” for control—as she apparently was doing to me. Nor did I sabotage her efforts to lead which would have been very easy. I decided to accept being “second fiddle” even if it meant feeling unempowered and even passive to a certain extent. It was a lesson in TOTAL humility –thankfully ONLY FOR A WEEK !
If I unempowered myself too much for too long it would be hard to reverse the flow, part of the problem being that there may have been a little “passive-aggressiveness” in Ms. S. If I allowed her to disrespect me for too long—she may have taken that as a “victory” of spirit & strength over me. At one point she even said to another student that she is “above me.” Again, I didn’t argue. She was falsely sure of herself— sure she was superior to me.
Scripture: Mark 1:17-18
"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." At once they left their nets and followed him.”
So for an entire week I listened to her teach—occasionally offering assistance to the students –taking attendance and even walking it to the office myself a few times (not minding a reason to step out of the classroom for a few moments). One of the strengths of Ms. S. was her discipline of the students—and she pounded the “mechanics.” She didn’t ease up too much, which was good. She may have been even better in an elementary setting—which requires a very regimented approach, more so than high school.
And it became clear that she did not want advice from me. I think she would have been happier had I not been there at all. On the first day I asked her if she felt comfortable alone—thinking I would step out to the restroom for a few moments and she said, “Oh God yes, you’re just required to be here…” and then said, “Take your time.”
Well, yes, I suppose “by law” I am required to be there—but I choose to be there because it is part of a “MISSION” of mine. I tried to go back in my mind to the way I saw things when I was a student teacher at Holland Christian Middle. Back then my allegiance was still towards my college—the English Dept & education program. They were my “supervisors”—not so much the principal, and the teachers at the school were not really my “colleagues.” Likewise, I think Ms. S. thought of LMU as to whom she was accountable not the school or the district---and her SUPERVISOR came twice to observe during the week.
Her supervisor, by the way, a large African American woman, was only briefly sociable towards me. The rest of the time she was blank-faced and sitting in the corner. And when I gave her a nod of acknowledgement she did not acknowledge me in return. It was as if there was a concerted effort on the part of the two of them to let me know they thought I was a “NOBODY.”
Thankfully, that attitude was not widespread beyond the classroom. I’ve had successful experiences at this particular school previously and the office employees are much more grateful for our presence as substitute guest teachers. It’s not as if we don’t have the education—in some cases even more so than some of the regular teachers. Of course, on the other hand, some substitutes have just the bare minimum—so it varies greatly. In my case I have two BA’s, regular teaching experience, and an M.Div. I am not “posing” when I speak with some authority based on education and experience. I am not acting.
The best word I can come up with for describing my role this week is a theological term, ‘kenosis.” It refers to the “emptying” of one’s self for the sake of others (see
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenosis ) based, in part, on Philippians 2.5-7ff which says,
“Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.”
Phil 2:5-7
How far to take that is the question? How far do we go in “making ourselves nothing.” For a while Christian (including Catholic priests) pastors were accused of preaching and teaching too much humility and subservience to their followers—to the extent that they took advantage of them (especially Catholic priests). In such cases the lesson of being “like a servant” was wrongly applied.
Paradoxically, the aspect of kenosis seems to be more assertive than passive. By actively allowing or accepting or taking on the role of a servant you actually empower yourself and others in the process. You do not allow yourself to be totally compromised (especially in a sexual manner such as priests have done to young boys). Being a servant means helping and assistant others, even walking an extra mile sometimes (
“ If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles” Matt 5:41). It’s being pliable but not breaking.
One thing you can be sure of is that Jesus Christ never totally broke down and gave in to the darkside. Likewise, neither shall we. He was tempted and afflicted but never lost hope, never lost faith. Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen (Hebrews 11.1).
It occurred to me as the week went by that this young lady might be Catholic although it could not be taken for granted. LMU is a Catholic university meaning they probably attract more Catholic students than other universities but I’m not sure if devotion to Roman Catholicism is a prerequisite to admission. And I didn’t ask her because she made it clear that she wasn’t interested in conversation—apart from what she began. It was more like “speak when spoken to” with her. She did not successfully differentiate between adults and students in the classroom.
So here I am with a young lady student teacher empowering herself at my expense, but accepting it, for the time being. It’s the nature of the job to a certain extent—as long as it doesn’t go too far. We are adults empowering young people through education and social interaction—and have to set our ego aside sometimes—not totally, but to a certain extent.
They cannot see things with the breadth that we are able to as adults—merely because of longevity more than anything else. We have lived longer—traveled more, been there done that, so to speak. But we don’t want to empower those who don’t show potential for positive leadership and respect for others. Our job is not to breed terrorists who will harm the cause of greater good .
Did Ms. S have the potential for good? I think the seed was in her. I didn’t see long-term character traits of total power and control. I saw flashes of it in her now as a young lady but give society time and allow the aging process to do what it does to all, and she will be mellowed. It is almost inevitable.
However, it is not always guaranteed. There are teachers in some public school settings who have managed to maintain a very tight grip on power and control dynamics within their classroom (sometimes for better other times for worse)–which they sometimes carry over into expectations in society—that simply don’t work. The reason they have power and control in the classroom is because we let them have it—NOT BECAUSE THEY ARE SO PERSONALLY GOOD, GIFTED, TALENTED, AND HARD WORKING.
They are what they are because of GRACE—and that’s a hard lesson to learn for some people. When decent people with power & control don’t learn that lesson they can become self-glorifying TYRANTS. My role in the classroom, in part, is to try to identify some of those future tyrants and not to let them become OVERBEARING.
And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness. 2 Cor 12:8-9
For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. Eph 2:8-9
“… who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began…” 2 Tim 1:8-9
One thing I’ve experienced in almost ten years of guest teaching now is that “regular teachers” usually go out of their way to make the “guest teacher” feel appreciated . And usually they do their best to leave a lesson plan, seating chart, and other accessories that make the day go easier. I’ve never experienced a “regular teacher” being condescending towards me. So it surprised me when Ms. S seemed to be a little hierarchical in nature, despite the fact that according to the people in the office she was “below me” in terms of the “pecking order.”
Should I have gone out of my way to bring this to her attention? But it brings me back to the issue of her possibly being Catholic—and the fact that the Catholic church is much more hierarchical in nature than that of the Protestant Church. Was that part of the dynamic in play here? I wasn’t sure.
The other factor that left me uncertain was not being sure of her age. She made reference at one point about having been an “assistant editor” for a magazine (while she was teaching the 6th period journalism class). Was she a “return student” as I had been when I went through the teaching program at Calvin College? Despite that—and despite feeling older then (back in 1994 I was 27 years old) —I really was not all that old or experienced. Now I am forty. Was she thirty? Twenty-five? Older? Younger? It was difficult to tell. And she wasn’t offering too much information.
One thing is for certain though –when I am a guest teacher in the classroom I am there for the “greater good.” I am trying to benefit the most people in one sitting, at that particular time and place without compromising my integrity or conscience. I am not pushing or pulling too much of my own personal agenda other than that which coincides with the greater good, a larger truth. And for me—the reason I do so is none other than God Almighty Himself. That’s what keeps me constant, steady, and absolute.
In fact sometimes it is such an emptying (kenosis) of myself that I have to do some ego indulgence activities as soon as I leave—for me one of those is going to the chiropractor and having them adjust my back. It’s nothing too indulgent but it sure feels good to have somebody “crack my back” and take care of me for fifteen minutes. Of course I also need it to a certain extent given the constant chronic pain in my neck, left side, and left leg.
And as I was saying a few weeks ago I recently went to the California Natural Healing Arts College for a massage. I haven’t been back there, but I found a new Massage College in Redondo Beach this week—a time for self-indulgence following my Kenosis at the Westchester School. And also an opportunity to reach out in the name of Jesus to another person.
I just happened to be driving by and saw the sign $29 for an hour. I was feeling low---not just physically but also emotionally—and I find that just being touched
(nothing kinky for those of you with perverted minds) helps me mentally & physically. So I inquired and a gal by the name of Chieko came out.
She happened to be from Japan. And she happened to be Buddhist as I found out over the course of an hour as she gave me a “Swedish massage” (nothing sensual; see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Massage ). And I kept up a conversation with her for the entire time—telling her about Jesus Christ, the difference between Protestant & Catholic, why I believe in God—my belief that God was in the room with us right then and there, and so on and so forth. I’ve never “gushed” like that before. It was a valuable opportunity. She not only listened but seemed genuinely interested.
And she talked about her Buddhist faith—the primary difference in her faith being that she was fearfully trying to perform for her god and to please him, whereas I told her that my relationship with my God was a relationship of LOVE AND TRUST, and observed, gently, that her relationship sounded more like that of the Jewish faith.
She also confided in me that she prayed mostly to her ancestors and even left food out for them. By the end of the session I hadn’t convinced her to abandon her Buddhist faith but maybe I planted a seed that would grow later. I put my arm around her as I left and said, ‘God bless you” and later sent a little card mentioning the name of Jesus.
We live in such a touch phobic world---especially where I came from in West Michigan. And in the schools, of course, any sort of physical touch, even accidental, can cause people to bristle. So sometimes you have to find somebody willing to touch you –even if they are not persons OF THE FAITH. She didn’t hurt me, nor did she molest me. I felt a little better physically leaving there, and a little lot better emotionally –having had an opportunity, spontaneously, to speak of my faith, which, most importantly, was what it was all about.
I learned a little from her and maybe, hopefully, she learned from me. I couldn’t force faith into her. It would either come via the grace of God and her slight inclination or it wouldn’t. Why do some people become Christ believers and others do not? It may be a matter of “election”. All we can do is plant the seeds, hoping some will find good soil. We are FARMERS FOR CHRIST !
Song: Be Thou Supreme !
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/b/t/s/btsuprem.htm
Song: Someone’s Knocking at Your Door ! Could be Jesus !
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/s/o/m/somknock.htm
And that’s my message for today. May God bless the message, the messenger, and those who receive this message in faith. May the Spirit be with you. May you trust with all your heart, mind, and soul !
Pastor Kok III
P.S.
Subsequently, I sent a fax to the student teacher (Ms. S.) and the assistant (Ms. W.) as well as the lady in the attendance office (Ms. T), explaining some of my thoughts and feelings; and I also encouraged Ms. S to use her gifts & talents to the best of her ability. And I hope I may have planted a seed of faith in Ms. S, as well as the others. Only time will tell.
P.S.S.
It also occurred to me that there was a different cultural perspective at play as well. The lady in the attendance office probably comes from a working class family where the man is not respected if he does not maintain command & control even to a physical extent; whereas it seemed to me that the young lady student teacher came from a professional family which does not place much, or any, emphasis on nor care about the man as masculine leader, perhaps placing all the emphasis on cognitive ability. Both extremes are wrong. Biblical manhood can be gentle as well as strong, intelligent as well as sometimes happily ‘simple.” Because how one should “be” depends on the situation and is reliant upon the Holy Spirit, there is no one single specific defining characteristic of those living in the Spirit of Biblical Manhood & Womanhood.
Jesus answered and said to her, "Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life"
John 4:13-14
"Once again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net that was let down into the lake and caught all kinds of fish. When it was full, the fishermen pulled it up on the shore. Then they sat down and collected the good fish in baskets, but threw the bad away. This is how it will be at the end of the age. The angels will come and separate the wicked from the righteous" Matt 13:47-49
March 4, 2007
Pastor Kok III
Pray for My Brother,
Steven, a Great Kid !
"But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.
" Luke 15:32
The Sunday Image Message
by
Pastor Kok III:
Hawaii 1986 Merges with Hawaii 1989
(this image message starts at the bottom)
"You will drink the cup I drink
and be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with..",
Mark 10:39
In 1989 I returned to Hawaii for a week with my parents and younger brother, Steven.I was a senior in college by that time. Steven was in his senior year of high school.
Above: 1) One of my favorite places to go in Oahu is a place called, informally, "The Toilet Bowl". It's a circular bowl-like area amongst rocks which regularly fills up with water and then empties out, hence the name "toilet bowl." When it fills with water you can jump in and wait for it to drain. You cannot get out, however, until the water comes back in and pushes you up and out on to the smooth rocks around you. Here I am, Pastor Kok III, in the empty toilet bowl; 2) Here is Jim Kok in Hawaii, posing for the camera; 3) Jim & Linda at the top of Diamond Head
above Waikiki, 1989
Above: 1) Back to Chaminade, 1986--as I mentioned earlier--one of our fellow students started the Chaminade Scuba Diving Club. One day we took an outing and some of them (those with scuba diving licenses which did not include me at the time) went scuba diving while the rest of us just had a good time at the beach. Here I am, Pastor Kok III, in a rubber raft (center with arm raised); 2) and this is in 1989 with the family; 3) Pastor Kok III taking a nap in the sun.
Who is our "family?" In some cases it refers to our literal father, mother, brothers & sisters. In other cases our real "family" are those IN CHRIST ! In 1989 I returned to Hawaii with my LITERAL FAMILY (minus my older brother & sister). Some of my LITERAL family members are still IN CHRIST, praise the Lord !
I was baptized as an infant, but I believe in symbolic second baptisms as well, and I believe both 1986 and 1989 were SYMBOLIC BAPTISMAL events for me (and for some of those with me). The WATER that surrounds you on all sides when in Hawaii symbolically represents a CLEANSING, and has SPIRITUAL significance--but only if INTERACTED with in the right state of MIND AND BEING !Above: (left) Even having a cold can of Coors at the beach in Waikiki back in 1986 had spiritual significance, because it was consumed with sincerity & truth, without a weakened conscience.(right) & Sleeping all night outdoors in a hammock on Hickam Air Force Base was awesome !
'And immediately he and all his family were baptized. Now when he had brought them into his house, he set food before them; and he rejoiced, having believed in God with all his household. Acts 16:33-34
Jesus made reference, unapologetically,
to wine (alcohol) in the Bible:
And no one after drinking old wine wants the new, for he says, 'The old is better.'"
Luke 5:39
Of course much of it had symbolic reference but
He nonetheless did not back away from it in a timid manner.
I don't hear from Steve too much anymore,
but I pray that he is alive IN THE SPIRIT.
Please pray with me.
Pastor Kok III:
Memories of Hawaii !
1986, 1989
With my parents & brother in the Spring of '89 we did more of the normal tourist things such as going to an Aloha show, among other things. The locals put on a good show for the "haoles" (which is what they call Anglos from the mainland in a semi-affectionate way, although not always).
(see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haole )
Above: 1) Jim & Linda in Hawaii, 1989;
2) Jim & Linda learning how to do dance, Hawaii style
Above: 1-3) And we visited Pearl Harbor, and the Arizona Memorial. It was a very memorable moment. It brings the event to life--to stand literally in the place where one of the U.S. ships went down.
A beautiful rainbow over Waikiki, 1989
" Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth."
Gen 9:16
Pastor Kok III:
Confession
No Way to Get Around it,
Some of the Time Was
Just Having a Good Ol' Time
COMMENTARY:
"I. Here is a caution to take heed of judaizing teachers, or those who would impose upon Christians the yoke of the ceremonial law: Let no man therefore judge you in meat nor drink, etc., v. 16. Much of the ceremonies of the law of Moses consisted in the distinction of meats and days. It appears by Rom 14 that there were those who were for keeping up those distinctions: but here the apostle shows that since Christ has come, and has cancelled the ceremonial law, we ought not to keep it up. "Let no man impose those things upon you, for God has not imposed them: if God has made you free, be not you again entangled in that yoke of bondage."
(from Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible: New Modern Edition, Electronic Database. Copyright (c) 1991 by Hendrickson Publishers, Inc.)
Col 2:16-23
That was then, this is now. The festive atmosphere of those five months in Honolulu was simply spontaneous. Hawaii was popular in the media at the time. It was a good time to be there. The time was right. And I laid the foundation for a return some day (without, to be honest, consciously realizing it)--a return for the sake of follow up, in CHRIST. I know I will be going back there, again, SOONER OR LATER, just like I went back to the Philippines.
Must all church celebrations be done formally within the walls of a church building? Evangelism would be impossible as such. Could we have been "breaking bread together" without consciously knowing it? None of us mentioned it as such. Did God bring us together without pretense? But there was a Spirit of positive communion amongst us for those five months--something I NEVER EXPERIENCED IN SUCH A WAY BEFORE.
Therefore let us keep the Festival, not with the old yeast, the yeast of malice and wickedness, but with bread without yeast, the bread of sincerity and truth.
1 Cor 5:8
We were all young and in some ways just surviving.
Pray that the fellowship we experienced together mostly in a social, somewhat frivolous, way will some day deepen into a spiritual communion, IN CHRIST ! I now value those few months, in retrospect, much more than I did at the time.
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.Rom 8:26
"Come, follow me," Jesus said,
"and I will make you fishers of men."
Mark 1:17-18
Pastor Kok III
Making Friends for Christ
Fall Semester, 1986
Chaminade University of Honolulu
You see, discipleship is a process, and might not always show immediate results, if at all. Did my new friends do what I commanded them to do? Well, I wasn't telling them directly, in words, to "Go and make disciples..." (Matt 28. 19) one reason being I had not yet made them my disciples. All I could do is try to plant a seed. And I did plant a lot of seeds mostly through "presence evangelism." Whether they landed in good soil I do not yet know. Only time will tell.
\\\
Prayer Request:
To this day I still think about and pray for these "friends"--most of whom I do not know their whereabouts. I do know that Ron & Kimo are still in Hawaii (but not exactly where), whereas Ed Durkin is here in Los Angeles working for Merril Lynch ( I have his office address and send him something from time to time). I ask you, fellow believers, to pray for them too!
"A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop-a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. He who has ears, let him hear." Matt 13:3-9
Pastor Kok III
Making New Friends
at Chaminade University of Honolulu
Fall Semester, 1986
I made a lot of new friends (or acquaintances) while at Chaminade University. 1) Of course Ron Foo, my roommate, became a friend (shown here with his surfboard); 2) as did Ed Durkin (from Pennsylvania; shown here in the front of the picture on a sailboat owned by a friend of Durkin's father) who lived one floor above me in Hale Pua; 3) and there was Jay from Alaska (shown here with Ron Foo)
1) Another new friend I met in the dorms was Mike (shown here behind Ron Foo at the famous Matsumoto's shaved ice grocery store; I don't remember his last name) from New York. He was a tough-talking kid with a good heart--who had a brand new motorcycle shipped to Oahu ( a gift from his grandmother) 2) Here's Ron catching a wave; 3) As you can imagine, the temptation to party excessively is great--being in Hawaii with like-minded others, living in a dorm with friendly, same-age persons (not to mention a co-ed dorm). And so I did, a little,and if I had stayed more than a semester it might have been the end of me (not literally but in terms of an ability to handle academic rigor). Praise the Lord for giving me one good semester there and pulling me out before I partied myself to spiritual, academic, or cognitive death. And somehow I was able to maintain my vow of celibacy prior to marriage while in Oahu. That was not an easy task either .
Meanwhile, unbeknownst to me I (or God) was laying the groundwork for a return--as a person with more discipline--later on in life. Essentially what I was doing there, although I did not the term for it then, was pre-evangelism. 1) Here's Ron Foo again; 2) And here's Ed Durkin with his roommate Ed Perez (from Guam)
Jesus said:
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.
John 15:13-14
March 4, 2007
Pastor Kok III
Letting My Light Shine
(for Jesus!) in Oahu
A Semester at Chaminade
University of Honolulu
1986
After my freshman year at Calvin College in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and having grown up in Grand Rapids, MI; I realized I needed a new perspective--a change of some sort--a different school (at least for a while). My freshman year at Calvin was okay, but it was so close to my high school that it did not feel like a big change.
I even lived in the dorms with a friend I had known almost all my life (Keith Steensma). He was a great roommate and a great kid (now an adult working for his dad's insurance company in GR) but I felt inclined to go somewhere new for a while.
Many of the kids I saw around Calvin College campus my freshman year were also familiar faces from my high school. My Christian High School (Grand Rapids Christian High) feeds into the nearby Christian denominational college and so for locals it seems like an extension of high school to a certain extent, at least socially.
So I applied to Chaminade University of Honolulu and was accepted ! As you can imagine (if you grew up in a cold weather state) going to Hawaii was a big change of climate as well as a significant change of student body (for me).
There were no "Calvinists" around the campus (Chaminade is from the Roman Catholic tradition but you are not required to be Catholic to attend, and recently I've noticed they have begun more describing themselves more specifically as "Marianists" see http://www.chaminade.edu/misc/marianistsInHawaii.php) although there were a lot of "mainlanders" in Hawaii for the first time. Like most of the mainlanders I was there for the weather, a place to continue to get college credits. Unlike some others I was also there for spiritual reflection
I arrived at Honolulu Airport in the Fall of 1986 a week or so before classes began and was picked up by a representative of the university who drive me to my off campus dorm, Hale Pua, where I would live for the year (or semester as it turned out). I met my new roommate, Ron Foo, an Asian-American, for the first time. He was from Islip, New York.
And I signed up for my classes. I took "core" classes. including anthropology & biology among others, that would transfer back to Calvin College or anywhere else
CHIEF BIG FAITH
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